Pexels At: Unsplash
While there may be no such thing outside of movies and TV as the ‘perfect relationship’ there’s a big difference between a healthy and unhealthy one. We know that life isn’t always kittens and rainbows and once the honeymoon period wears off you’re bound to argue a little but that’s ok.
We Need To Talk
This is the bedrock of any relationship; you have to be able to know how to talk to each other, voice your opinions and freely say what’s on your mind without fear of judgment. Communication is also a two-way street, so you need to be able to listen to your partner, take on board what they’re saying and not dismiss their feelings and ideas. As babies, one of the first things we learn to do is talk, but it can take some of us years before we can talk effectively. Plenty of people shy away from conflict, shut down when they don’t want to talk about something or struggle to express their feelings when pushed. Healthy couples are vocal; they say they love each other often but also back up those words with thoughtful, caring actions at the same time.
A Little Respect
Respecting someone doesn’t just mean putting up with them, but actively encouraging them to pursue their dreams and goals, understanding what makes them tick and loving them for it even if it’s collecting, and displaying, tiny model cars everywhere. Mind you, respect isn’t something to be freely given away it definitely needs to be earned. Even gentle teasing might be seen by someone as disrespectful, while badmouthing them to family, friends and loved ones isn’t just airing your dirty laundry in public it’s not respecting them enough to talk to them face-to-face about any issues you have.
Enough Quality Time
Probably one of the most common complaints couples have when they go to counseling is that they never seem to spend enough time together. You don’t need to spend lots of money to have fantastic quality time either! Watching a movie in your PJ’s with a bowl of popcorn between you is awesome as long as you’re still engaging with each other. Having said that, time apart is also vital for a healthy relationship as you don’t want to end up in each other’s pockets do you? You may be a couple, but you’re still you so don’t neglect those ‘me time’ activities that you love like drawing, painting, and dancing. When things break down Divorce Mediators don’t just see couples who barely talk to each other; they encounter those people who spend all their time with just one other person which eventually leads to resentment and bad feelings.
What’s your love language? Relationship experts have determined there are five love languages that most of us tend to respond to, and one that we particularly associate with feeling loved and cared for. These are kind words, gift giving, quality time, affectionate touching and acts of selflessness. Once you’ve figured out your love language, you and your partner will then know how to show each other love in the most meaningful way.
Pexels At: picjumbo.com