This morning something popped up in my newsfeed on Facebook that got my mind running. Thoughts that came to my mind were that a narcissist enjoys attention; negative or positive. A person who is a self-proclaimed narcissist admitted to faults, crimes and other unspeakable actions and the internet went crazy. While I can comprehend that this triggered some traumatic memories for many, after all, I am a victim of some of the crimes this person listed, I cannot for the life of me comprehend why everyone went crazy. Updating social media statuses to call him out, to speak ill of him, to scream how dare he. I get the feeling behind this, but for me, I think about a narcissist. They are much like a child in that they thrive on attention. The attention can be negative or positive, the typical narcissist doesn’t really care which they receive. You are only giving a narcissist what they thrive on, attention.
Thoughts go Beyond One Scenario
Then these thoughts went further. I kept thinking about a person who is a human just like you and me who made mistakes. Sure he put them out their publicly which one could argue he opened himself up to public ridicule, shame, and judgment but he was admitting that he is flawed. Are we not all flawed? Have we not all made mistakes, that if put in the public eyes; we could possibly be shamed, judged or ridiculed for? I mean seriously. We are all human beings who make varying levels of mistakes. When a person openly admits they suck, they have made horrible mistakes, they have done horrible things that make them feel dirty, ugly and awful but go on to say that they are trying to be better every day, I feel empathy. They are working to cure this person they had become and work to rectify the horrible mistakes that they have made. They are doing this in their own way, who are we to pass judgement on it being the wrong way?“How easy it is to judge rightly after one sees what evil comes from judging wrongly.” Elizabeth GClick To Tweet
It’s About Humans Destroying Humans
While this isn’t entirely about this one particular incident, the post had to start there to try to get my point across. This scenario made me realize something, whether this individual updated to get attention, to emotionally hurt others or to work through this publicly to try to remind themselves of the person they desire to be, doesn’t matter. The point is that they opened up. Just like victims of horrible crimes are encouraged to speak up and speak out, why can’t those who have committed crimes and truly feel sorry for those crimes speak out? We are destroying our people. You are my people. We are all human beings trying to live life to the best of our abilities.
Wounds Make us Emotionally Unstable
Each of us has wounds from our past, wounds from relationships and have been hurt at some point in our life. This happens to everyone. Whether it’s a tiny hurt that goes away and is only triggered occasionally or a deep wound that impacts the person we are every single day; we all have been wounded and we all have made mistakes. Who am I to judge you? Who are you to judge me? Who are we to judge others? Sure, I believe passing judgment is human nature. We do it in our minds even if we don’t speak out about it. I am guilty of judging a situation in my mind or in a private conversation with trusted friends, but those private conversations help me to see that I am no better than the person I felt like passing a judgment upon.“Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.” ― Jesse JacksonClick To Tweet
Judgment is Human Nature
We live in a society where we are judged based on our appearance, our friendships, our relationships, our personality and our past mistakes. How can one ever grow as a human being if society has become a place where no one is safe to express their willingness to grow, to learn and to be deeply sorry for the wounds they have placed upon others? I am guilty of a lot of these things, meaning in my private life I get stuck at a point where I judge someone for their past mistakes. I unknowingly do this. I get hurt by someone and all of a sudden I am pulling out the big guns. Every mistake that they have made, even prior to me knowing them, will be tossed in their face. Thrown at them for ammunition to say that I am better or to get them to feel the pain that they have caused me.
We all do it.
This isn’t right.
We All Have Demons
I am saddened to see that social media has given human beings the capability to do good, to be better, to express more kindness and empathy towards others and yet we throw stones. We cast out our own people. How dare someone who made horrible mistakes express that they suck and that they are a work in progress. I don’t understand that. Aren’t we all a work in progress? I know I am. I am constantly working to grow, to be a better human being, to practice positive thinking and to make others feel as if they matter regardless of their race, religion, beliefs or personality.“When I look at a person, I see a person - not a rank, not a class, not a title.” ― Criss JamClick To Tweet
We Have Human Rights
We all deserve to have confidence, we all deserve the right to make peace for mistakes we’ve made and we all deserve to be alive. Now, why can’t we all try to update social media less impulsively, open our minds and be kind or at least discuss a controversial topic in a way that sheds light on both sides. Sure if you are a victim of crimes that one has committed, you may have a hard time opening your mind up to someone who truly wants to be better. I get it. Believe me. I truly get it. But what has worked for me is to come to peace with those who have harmed me, those deep wounds that still get triggered from time to time and find a way to work through them and not make the next person who is trying to be a better person pay for the things another human did to me.
Do we Want our Children to be This Way?
Today, I invite you to look around. See how we are, as a human race, destroying our people. Think about how this is teaching our next generation of adults to behave. Do you really want to encourage our children to throw stones at another imperfect human being rather than look into the mirror and be a better person? I personally want to do my best to be the example of an imperfect human being who can see wrong in what others do but focuses more on the mistakes I make personally and learn ways to grow when given the chance to rectify my mistakes and become a better human. That’s the kind of person I want to inspire within every little child and human being on this Earth. Can we please stop destroying our people? Build each other up. Accept that we all make mistakes and that no one deserves to be chastised for their mistakes. Each of us is doing the best we can given the circumstances in which we were raised in and live in.“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” - Margaret MeadClick To Tweet
One Thing to Remember
We only know a piece of the puzzle when it comes to another human being. Unless we have walked 100% in the same exact shoes with the same exact life and the same exact mentality, we have no idea the true inner thoughts and feelings of another human being trying to be a better person. The faults of another human being lie solely in their hands to rectify and work through to the best of their abilities and if we don’t like how they are doing it, so be it, it isn’t on us to judge how they grow to be a better person. We are simply supposed to be kind human beings with compassion and empathy because we too have made mistakes along the path of growing into the person we truly desire to be.