Brandy Ellen Writes

NH Blogger|New England Traveler|Positive Thinker|WAHM
They Aren’t Your Competition

They Aren’t Your Competition

Do you ever feel so down with yourself at times that everyone around you seems to be doing much better than you are? You are in this spiral of negativity where you feel like everyone else does better, looks better, is better and has it all together. This type of thought pattern happens to the best of us. I personally am struggling to come back to the mindset that you are not my competition. No, not you personally but you as in any other person who I seem to feel threatened by lately. I feel threatened by others who haven’t done any wrong. They are living their life, being who they are and struggling with their own issues.

Yet, I have to keep telling myself that you are not my competition.

Why do human beings get into this thought pattern? What is it that makes them think they have competition everywhere and are sucking at life?

They Aren't Your Competition

Emotionally Driven Beings

My personal opinion is that we are imperfect human beings filled with emotions. When our stress levels get high, our emotions go wonky. Stress makes us even more imperfect and if we don’t become aware of this stress and emotional rollercoaster we are totally doomed. This is where I try to remind myself, you are not my competition. No one else is in competition with me personally. I do think we look around at other parents who seem to have it all together then place judgment upon ourselves for not living up to that standard.

We need to stop doing this to ourselves and others. There’s no rulebook to life, we all live it our own way and this is something I need to get back to.

If you are thinking that everyone else is better than you, out to get you or you have fears that are irrational, then it’s time to say this out loud, “you are not my competition”, and truly believe that.

3 Tips to Overcome the Competition Thoughts

  • Remind yourself every day that this person you are fighting with is your own internal mindset. No one else is truly your competition; you create these competitions in your mind and literally drive yourself nutty.
  • Accept imperfections about yourself and others. You look to the outside at others as if they are perfect and you are not. Here’s the news flash – not one single human being is perfect. Start looking on the inside of you versus the outside of others to remove these thoughts.
  • Try to let it go. What I find to work best, which isn’t always feasible due to time constraints, is to sleep more. Sometimes a half hour nap will truly allow your mind to rest to a positive place and in turn, you naturally get out of this negative thought process.

During the challenging times where you have started to form your thoughts to a place where others are your competition, you have trained your mind to think this way. Just like we put our mind into this negative place, we can bring it back out but it’s going to take extra strength and a whole lot of willpower. While no other person can help get you back to the “you are not my competition” mindset, having a supportive group of family and friends around you will help.

There’s no one size fits all solution to this, but the one solid truth about this whole article is that “you are not my competition”. Truly no other human being is your competition and that’s how it is. You are your own competition both mentally and physically, remember that.

Brandy Ellen is a born and raised NH resident who enjoys living life to the fullest. Raising 3 kids and a pug, Brandy spends her free time writing for her two blogs – ParentInfluence and Brandy EllenWrites. Brandy is also a ghostwriter for other blogs, click here to hire Brandy to write for you.

11 comments found

  1. Feeling competitive, jealous, etc. are all very human emotions. But you are right, our true competition is our own thoughts and hang ups. The first step is to be grateful for who you are and once you can accept your own specialness, then you can appreciate another’s beauty as well. Funny, we have a recent article on this similar topic. http://glossycover.com/appreciate-someone-else-beauty-without-questioning/. Hope you get a chance to read it.

  2. Yes i cant agree more. What a fantastic post If people focused more on fixing self than others i think the world would be better. Great point of view keep at it. Will return for more…

  3. I think everyone needs this reminder from time to time. When I feel envious, I try refocusing my thoughts back to my own life and thinking of a few things to be grateful for.

  4. This can be so true! I’m always competitive no matter what I’m doing and it is really exhausting. I need to learn to relax and let it go.

  5. This is something I’m still constantly having to remind myself. I always found at school and university you were always being compared to others in terms of achievements and test scores etc but once you’re out in the real world, you’re your own competition! But once you’re in that mindset, it can be hard to get out of it.

  6. What a compelling post and frankly one I really needed to read today. Thank you so much for your insight. Comparison is a tough trap to escape and I have been battling that in the exact way you described- those who make fewer mistakes than I do… It’s been hard to release that toxicity but I am working on it. Your post encourages me to do so!

  7. Love this! I am typically only competitive with myself (like wanting to be my best self) but sometimes you can get a little jealous seeing other people live their lives lol. Thanks for sharing!

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