Brandy Ellen Writes

NH Blogger|New England Traveler|Positive Thinker|WAHM

Expectations Set us up for Disappointment

As I sit here writing this blog post, all I can think about today is the fact that I miss my normal life. I miss dealing with the boys two-hour bedtime routine, I miss listening to my teenager ramble to me about whatever is going on in that child’s head. I miss being able to lay my head down knowing that one or both of the younger boys will be waking me up early in the morning. I miss having the sound of my trio’s laughter, bickering and constant conversation in the background as I sit here and write content for clients. I miss everything that has to do with what I expected and created as a normal life for my kids and me. I miss it all. Every moment.

My Personal Expectation Fail

My expectations when I made a difficult decision to walk away from a toxic environment was that I would only be living without my kids for perhaps a couple of weeks, while I have no idea really how long it’s been now for sure, it feels like an eternity. My expectations that I could totally find a home to buy or rent within two weeks was more than likely an unreasonable expectation to place upon myself, thus setting me up for disappointment. I’m only sharing my thoughts on this matter to help share tips on how we can stop setting ourself up for disappointment and how we can use reasonable expectations to set ourself up for happiness.

The expectations I placed upon myself were set by ME, I’m the only one who disappointed myself. The kids are fine. They knew Mama Bear would figure this out. They knew their Dads’ were taking care of them and that we’d all be reunited when the right place came along. Most kids truly have a more of a resilient personality than some of us adults do.

Tips to Set Realistic Expectations

How Expectations Set us up For Disappointment

Expectations in life, business and relationships can set us up for disappointment more often than not. When you get into a friendship or relationship, even a business, you can have certain expectations in your mind without meaning to have them. Most of our expectations may be based on previous situations that were similar and we just kept rolling with those expectations. When we don’t take time to reevaluate our abilities, and expectations we may have from prior experiences, disappointment sets in. When you set yourself up to a higher standard than you’d even hold someone else at, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

Expectations are what I have seen kill far too many friendships, relationships and even businesses in the past. This is why my most recent experience with expectations disappointing me, I decided to write tips on how you can set realistic expectations. When you use my tips to set realistic expectations in all areas of your life, you’ll soon find that you get disappointed less and less as life goes on.

Tips to Set Realistic Expectations

What is a Realistic Expectation?

Self-esteem grows when we learn Tips to Set Realistic Expectations in our life. A realistic expectation takes into consideration the person (or your) strengths, weaknesses, and abilities. A realistic expectation is something that is attainable, logical and realistic. The standard to go by when you’re following my Tips to Set Realistic Expectations is to always take into consideration the person’s abilities and things that you can’t control in the area you’re setting the expectation for.

 

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Tips to Set Realistic Expectations

If you’re like me and you keep setting yourself up for disappointment in yourself and/or others, then read these tips to set realistic expectations from now on.

  • Let go of Fear – you will need to let go of any fear you may have about setting realistic expectations. While you do want to keep expectations realistic, it’s good to set some realistic expectations that help you face a specific fear or challenge in life too. This helps you gain confidence and grow as a person.
  • Review Obstacles – one part of setting realistic expectations is to ensure you review all obstacles that may get in your way. Obstacles will be anything that you cannot control regarding whatever you’re setting expectations for and will be different for any given situation.
  • Do Not Promise – I cannot handle broken promises. I try my hardest to only use that serious word for situations that I can make promises happen. Expectations should never be promised unless you are positive that they are realistic.
  • Embrace What You Can Handle – lastly when it comes to Tips to Set Realistic Expectations, I highly advise you to embrace what you can or cannot handle. While I encourage realistic expectations to help you grow, you still need to be reasonable about what you’re physically and mentally capable of.

 

Brandy Ellen is a born and raised NH resident who enjoys living life to the fullest. Raising 3 kids and a pug, Brandy spends her free time writing for her two blogs – ParentInfluence and Brandy EllenWrites. Brandy is also a ghostwriter for other blogs, click here to hire Brandy to write for you.

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