3 Tips to Make a Difficult Choice in Life
Your thoughts impact more in your life than you realize. Your environment impacts your life more than you realize. The circle of friends you keep impact your life more than you realize. Each decision you make in life will change another area in your life. It’s up to you to make choices that you’re confident with. If you make a choice about something, then you have to learn how to be content with that decision. Each of us will be faced with a difficult decision to make from time to time. The options you have at hand for choices may not seem like the solution you want, but each is a choice and each will lead to a better path in some way.
I recently had to make a difficult decision. Out of all of my options, none really felt right in that moment. I had to decide between my future goals or my immediate comfort level. I made a decision to go with something that would impact my future goals less but make my current situation a little uncomfortable for my children and me. Living apart from my kids for a lengthy period of time has been extremely difficult, but I am confident that I made the correct decision.
Here’s a teeny backstory:
I had a bad situation with an ex-boyfriend. This situation led to me living without my kids for a period of time. I can still see my kids, they are able to call me up and get advice, but we haven’t slept under the same roof for a pretty extensive period of time. It’s hard, I’ll admit that. I get sad missing the bedtime routine I’ve done for almost 16 years now, I get sad thinking about the lack of hugs and the lack of laughter inside the home. I love my Mama chaos life and not having it does tear at my heartstrings. The thing is, I made the best decision possible after suffering from emotional abuse and a crime committed against me that shattered my trust level. Living in the home I was in with my ex-boyfriend was no longer an option, I seriously still feel like that house was bugged with more than the one audio device I found. My kids and I never felt safe in that place after the situation that occurred. Due to the circumstances of the situation, I had to make a choice to do some positive co-parenting. My kids are with their Dads while I work to save for a deposit and find a rental for us to all be happy together again under the same roof.
This is the perfect example of a difficult decision that may make you second guess your choice. I will be honest, I do not doubt my decision. While it pains me to be apart from my kids like this, and I can see them being upset about it from time to time too, I know that this was the healthiest decision to make so that we can heal, move forward and ultimately be back together under the same roof. I remain positive and uplifting to my kids. When I am spending time with them, I make sure to enjoy the time together versus focusing on us living apart. These are the keys to instill the right mindset in the kids. I am teaching them to not dwell on what they don’t like about our current times, I am teaching them to focus on having trust and confidence that Mama’s heart hurts too, but it’s going to all work out eventually.
The three steps to being confident in your decisions are:
Make The Best Choice Possible
You have to make a choice. It doesn’t matter what the choice is, you simply have to make one. To make the best choice possible given your current circumstances, you have to weigh out the pros and cons. Take some time to think about your current situation and what you have for goals in the future. The best way to make a choice given your current circumstances is to see how it will impact your future goals. The decision you make today will ultimately determine your future path. Always make the best choice possible for you without listening to others, because this choice has to be the right one for you and your immediate family in order for you to feel confident with it when times get hard.
Clear the Mind of the Norm
In order to make the best choice possible, you have to clear the mind of the norm. Let go of what other people think you should do or what other people tell you to do. Doing what you think is the right thing to do for your given situation is the most important factor of this. Take time to clear your mind from what society has told you that you should do. In my example, I had to let go of the idea that not living with my kids for a temporary length of time would make me a bad mom. I am not a bad mom because I made a hard decision that was the best choice possible in my given circumstances. I had to let go of the fear that society would see me as a bad mom because I took a less than expected route to make room for a more positive future.
Stay Dedicated and Focused
Remain focused on your future goals and stay dedicated to the choice you made. You may have moments of self-doubt and you may wonder how you can survive this decision because your next step isn’t coming as quickly as you had hoped for, but the moment you second guess your decision that was made, the slower it will be to get to your ultimate goal. Always remain true to you and your decisions, heck, even if your kids question your decision, remind them that one must make difficult choices in their adult life, but you’re confident you made the right one and everything will come together soon. Temporary situations of hardships can make us stronger, if we make the right decision in the first place.
Today I invite you to pause, reflect and focus on what decisions you can make to alleviate stress and head forward on a path towards your goals. These goals can be personal or financial, heck they could even be business goals. It doesn’t matter what you’re facing right now in your life, we all have a choice to make. Be sure the choice you make will positively impact your long-term future goals and help you remain content in your choice. Do not let naysayers or judgmental folk get in the way of what you need to do for your own piece of mind.
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There have been so many times where I had to make a difficult decision that at the time, felt so wrong… but as time passed, I realized that it was better in the long run.
Couldn’t agree more on this. Indeed be focused and determine in difficult times. Also, pray and be positive in dealing with times like this.
Sometimes clearing your head is exactly what prevents you from making a good choice. If I’ really stuck I try to not think about something until I can get a better perspective.
Sorry to read you had to make such a tough decision but glad you are moving forward. I agree It doesn’t matter what life looks like to others. You need to make decisions for you and your children based on your circumstances. Best wishes to you.
These are great tips for anyone who needs to make a difficult decision. It’s very good to be thoughtful and focused when facing one.
Clearing my mind involves writing ideas and then reading it again on another day when I don’t feel too emotional. This is to allow myself to think it through and make a decision afterwards.
I think your three points here are clear-minded and really helpful to the person that is struggling with a major decision. I totally agree with the idea of abandoning presupposed “norms”, which often cloud what we truly want.
Such a true blog post. Life sure can be difficult. I like the points that make here, even when it’s hard to face them.
Life decisions can be hard and we often agonize over them. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you and your kiddos are reunited under the same roof soon.
When it comes to these big life decisions it does need careful contemplation . Your ideas and tips are a good way to help the decision making process ahen these choices arise.
You definitely have some great tips! It sounds like it has been absolutely awful for you over there and I’m happy you got out of that situation. You will get your children back ASAP I know it. You are extremely motivated and I know how much you love your kids.
The older you get you realize that the choices you make shape your entire life. Staying focused and keeping a long term plan really helps.
These are great tips for making decisions and getting through hard times. I typically will pray on it and give it to God
I had to make that choice regarding my daughter when she was smaller and it almost killed me but she was safer and able to get the things she needed. I Pray now that I have my son I never have to be separated from him but if I do to make sure he gets what he needs I would do it again and somehow I would survive.
These are some really great tips. I agree that it’s so important to stay dedicated and focused.
You just have to choose the best possible path and go for it. Sometimes it works other times it is difficult. Part of life and hopefully we learn and move on.
These are some great tips. I tend to think a lot when I have difficult choices. Or I write down the pros and cons. It’s never easy and I always hope I’m making the right choice. If I feel at peace, I know I did.
These are some great tips, sometimes it can be so hard to know exactly what the right thing to do is, but hopefully these tips will help people who are facing difficult situations make an easier choice.