Inspired by my book Habits = Life by Brandy Tanner
Today’s post is brought to you by my book, Habits = Life, and by a deep desire to help you slow down, look inward, and truly see the habits shaping your daily life. We all have routines, rituals, and behaviors that feel automatic. Some of these habits support us. Others quietly control us, often without us even noticing.
If you’ve been feeling heavy, stuck, overwhelmed, or simply unsure why life feels “off,” I invite you to read this with an open mind and an open heart. My hope is that you’ll walk away with tools to evaluate your habits, understand your emotional patterns, and begin shifting your life in a healthier, empowering direction.
Step 1: Ask Yourself: Does This Habit Create Stress or Anxiety?
The first step in evaluating your habits is to get everything out of your head and onto paper. Start by making a simple list of your daily routines. If you’re not sure where to begin, here are some questions I ask myself when I feel it’s time for a life reset:
- What am I eating throughout the day?
- How much caffeine or alcohol am I consuming?
- What do I do from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed?
- What hobbies or activities take up my time?
- Which behaviors feel automatic versus intentional?
This list is your starting point. It doesn’t need to be perfect. You can, and should, revisit it often. Your habits change as your life changes, and checking in regularly helps you stay aware of what’s supporting your well-being and what’s draining it.
Even as a Goal Success Life Coach, I’m human first. I’m constantly growing, adjusting, learning, and unlearning. I surround myself with people who challenge me, not to please me, but to help me become a better version of myself. Those connections are priceless. They remind me that growth requires honesty, openness, and a willingness to evaluate how I’m showing up.
Step 2: Understand How Your Habits Make You Feel
Now that you have your list, it’s time to get real about emotions. How do these habits affect your mood? Your energy? Your body? Your relationships?
If you struggle with recognizing emotional patterns, a mood journal can change everything. Tracking your feelings over time makes it much easier to connect certain habits with certain emotional outcomes.
Try the Gratitude & Love Journal
I created the Gratitude & Love Journal for this very purpose, to help people develop emotional awareness through simple, daily reflection. It’s available as a digital printable download or in paperback on my Amazon Author Page.
In this journal, each page guides you to:
- Date your entry
- Write 3 things you’re grateful for
- Identify 4 people you will show love to today
- Capture notes, reflections, and reminders
It’s designed to be simple, calming, and easy to stick with, ideal for anyone learning to understand their emotional landscape. And because the printable version is mostly white, it’s affordable to print at home.
If you know someone who needs this journal but can’t afford it, just message me privately. I genuinely want to help.
Step 3: Replace—Don’t Eliminate
Once you understand how a habit makes you feel, good or bad, it becomes clearer whether you should keep it, adjust it, or replace it.
Here’s the secret:
It’s easier (and far more successful) to REPLACE a habit than to REMOVE one.
When we frame a habit change as “losing” something, our mind naturally resists. But when we introduce something new and supportive, we create a feeling of gain.
For example:
- Want to eat healthier? Swap one meal for a salad or whole-food option.
- Craving chips? Try celery with peanut or cashew butter (my personal favorite) or a clean-ingredient meat stick.
- Drinking too little water? Carry a large water bottle and commit to drinking two full bottles a day.
These small swaps create a ripple effect. When I added one daily salad and drank more water, I naturally reduced snacking and started feeling (and looking) healthier without forcing anything.
Step 4: Choose ONE Habit to Change at a Time
You may look at your list and see 20 habits that need improvement. That can be discouraging, and it’s exactly why people abandon change.
Instead:
Focus on ONE habit. Just one.
If you’re stuck on which one to choose, write a simple pros and cons list for each habit and select the one with the highest “cost.”
Starting small increases your success rate and your confidence. And confidence builds momentum.
Step 5: Set Yourself Up for Success
Before you change a habit, ask yourself:
“What triggers this behavior?”
For example, nearly five years ago, when I quit smoking, I realized that alcohol was a trigger. So I stopped drinking a full month before my quit date. Removing the trigger greatly increased my chances of success.
Ask yourself:
- What environments encourage this habit?
- What situations make me want to repeat it?
- Who influences this habit?
- What can I remove or pause temporarily to support this change?
If chips are your habit, don’t keep chips in the house.
If late-night scrolling is the habit, plug your phone in across the room.
If sugar is the habit, don’t buy it “for the kids.” (They’ll be fine!)
Give yourself TIME. Growth happens in phases. You are transitioning from an old version of yourself into a new one, and that is powerful work.
This Is Only the Beginning
Once you change one habit successfully, you’ll feel something amazing, a spark of empowerment. That spark becomes motivation. That motivation becomes momentum. And before long, you begin to love the process of becoming a healthier, freer version of yourself.
If you want to dive deeper into habit shifting, life evaluation, and personal growth, you have a few options:
✨ Work with me 1:1 in a Goal Mapping Session
I’ll help you evaluate your habits, build a personalized plan, and start creating the life you want.
✨ Get the book: Habits = Life
This blog post is only a tiny piece of what I share in the book. You can grab it on Amazon or through my discounted author page.
Your habits shape your life. When you change them intentionally, you change your future, and you gain the confidence to keep going.