As optimistic of a person I am, I’m still a real human being. I’m imperfect. I have self-doubt occasionally. I make the wrong decisions sometimes. I am nowhere near the perfect mother. I am simply human. That one sentence is something I keep bringing myself back to.
I am simply human.
What does being human mean?
Each one of you may have a different answer to this question. My answer is that being human means living a life that’s fulfilling based on your terms.
Being human means caring for yourself the same way you’d care for someone else you like.
Being human means being aware of the person you aim to be and how you can use your individuality to better the world.
Being human means accepting that you have flaws, and the mind to work on those flaws to be a better person.
With all that being said, I’ve found myself saying …
I Don’t Like People
If a human is one that accepts that they have flaws and the mind to work on those flaws to be a better person, then isn’t saying “I don’t like people” essentially saying that you don’t like yourself. The people surrounding you are humans just like you. Each person you encounter online or in real life is a human being struggling with similar flaws and feelings that you’re struggling with.
So why did I keep saying that I don’t like people. Day in and day out I’d watch videos online, scroll social media and watch as people on the internet become so mean to each other. It wasn’t your typical ‘difference of opinion‘ style conversations, no! It was far worse.
Humans bringing down other humans or bullying them and harassing them simply because they believe one way or live one way that doesn’t align with their beliefs or their lifestyle.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I started removing people online. I started staying away from social media. I started to withdraw from society because I started telling myself I just don’t like people.
I, for the first time in years, felt like I truly disliked some of these people and so I withdrew.
You Become What You Surround Yourself With
I use social media to engage with others from all over the world. I use social media to learn more about how others live, eat, and feel. I am a small town gal in New Hampshire who hasn’t traveled much and so social media has allowed me to learn more about the lifestyles of people from all over the world.
I could no longer see the positive of social media. All I could see was the bullying, harassment, and destruction of individualism. I was in a bad mental place and needed to protect myself from this nonsense.
That’s when I stopped posting as often. I kept a distance and started removing people from my inner-most circle. At first, it was because I thought I just didn’t like people anymore, as a general statement. And then I realized …
It wasn’t because I didn’t like them, it was because I didn’t like the thoughts I had when surrounding myself with these people.[azonpress template=”list” asin=”0738745545″]
You Need to Like Yourself
I was becoming just as bitter and negative as the people that were upsetting me. All because I kept telling myself that I don’t like people and continued to watch the destructive behavioral patterns of people who I had once admired.
The world is a pretty scary place right now, especially for people born in a specific generation.
We don’t recognize it.
We don’t understand why we’re seeing history repeat itself, albeit in a different ‘way’ but repeating nonetheless.
These feelings of confusion and concern can really eat us up and then we stop liking people, which means we stop liking ourselves.
This is the last thing you want to happen! You need to like yourself. It’s imperative that you like yourself first so that you can spread your uniqueness around the world inspiring others to be individuals.
Surrounding yourself with people who are negative, destructive, and unhealthy to society as a whole isn’t going to make you like yourself.
You’ll do what I did, you’ll start to withdraw and feel anxious. You’ll start saying “I don’t like people anymore” and in turn, you’ll start to not like yourself. OR you’ll start placing yourself on some pedestal like you’re the only viewpoint that matters!
Get Perspective by Looking Inward
One of the reasons I’m able to remain mostly optimistic in my life is due to how I perceive the world around me. I typically see a problem or stressful scenario as a challenge to solve. I typically see an obstacle as a challenge to concur. I see an unhealthy relationship as something toxic that I need to confidently remove from my life. I see a negative human being as someone who is hurting inside.
I pause whenever I’m feeling negative or emotional to look inward and determine where these feelings or thoughts are coming from. The thought that ‘I don’t like people’ was coming from a place that combines my upbringing, my environment, experiences, and social media exposure.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like people, it’s that I didn’t like how I felt when surrounded by these people online. I didn’t like how their toxic behavior was lingering into my head and life creating a person who was slowly being depleted of her light.
You see, all too often how we perceive a situation or person has more to do with something inside of us than it does that person.
Just accepting that you don’t like people isn’t going to bring you much joy. You’ll start to deplete yourself in the process of this negative talk. Yes, saying that you don’t like people over and over again is a negative sentence!
How to Stop the Negative Talk
If what I shared today resonates with you in some way, please consider using my tips to stop the negative talk. I’ve practiced each of these steps and continue to make them a part of my daily life. These steps, strategies, and tips keep me grounded.
I’m able to change my perception about a person or situation, say no with confidence, say yes with confidence, and remain connected with people who bring a positive learning experience into my life using this method.
Step Back and Pause!
As part of my mission to aim to be more mindful in 2020 and now 2021, I’ve mastered the ability to step back and pause. I try to figure out why I’m feeling this way about someone or why something bothers me. Is it the day or is this a repetitive feeling towards this person?
- If it’s repetitive and based on a social media connection; they’re removed from my immediate connections.
- If it’s repetitive and based on a real-life person; I write a letter to express my feelings or schedule a chat to discuss this to find resolve.
If it’s not repetitive at this time, then I might snooze the person on social media or distance myself from the person in real life so as to not break a good relationship connection over a fleeting emotion.
Read All The Books!
I’m taking the time to read books that help open my mind to a new thought pattern, perception of life, or anything else that can help me feel confident. I want to live my life based on what aligns with my true soulful purpose. This means, reading books that help me maintain confidence, open-mindedness, and the adaptability to work on my human flaws.
- The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands
- Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions
- Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First-Class Life
- Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
I can’t tell you what books to read, but the above books have helped me. Some I finished, others didn’t retain my attention to complete fully. Even if you don’t finish the book, if you received some knowledge from it then you’re winning!
Start Weekly or Nightly Therapy!
No, I don’t necessarily mean you need to find a counselor to attend sessions with, although that is a healthy option. I’ve already gone to many counselors in my adult life at various times and each has helped me get to this point. I use YouTube videos as my nightly therapy.
I giggle after I tell the kids that I’m trying to do my therapy whenever they come walking into the kitchen trying to talk to me about something while I’m cooking dinner. They had all day to come see me, this is my 30 minutes of therapy time.
Telling my kids that “I’m doing my therapy” while they see me listening to some stranger speak over my cell phone and I’m happily cooking up some din-din may have them questioning my sanity! But, it’s all good 😉
Because –> It’s helping me strengthen myself, and that’s all that matters.
Final Thoughts About Negative Thought Patterns
Listen, if you enjoy saying you don’t like people and you truly don’t like people but it has zero impact on your mindset, lifestyle, or ability to live the life you desire then by all means keep being that way.
However, if you’re like me and realize that the constant statement of ‘I don’t like people’ is starting to negatively impact your life, mind, and business well then use my tips and advice to push forward.
I’m confident that sharing the YouTube channels and books that have helped me get this far will ignite something within you that helps you grow in the areas that need growth, too!