Communicate for Curiosity\’s Sake 

I\’ve written in the past about how to respond  to a difference of opinion and it\’s been quite a popular topic among the internet folks who search for ways to gain better communication skills.  We live in a world where people are very divided. They feel that their reality is 100% real for everyone else and that half of the society wants them harmed.

In order to get you to comprehend where I\’m coming from, I felt it was perhaps as important for me to share a little bit more about myself,  the observations I\’ve had about myself,  and even some experiences that led me to be more curious about myself and others. 

I\’ve recently learned that I\’m more of the observer type of person. I\’m also an ENFP personality type.   As I do this review of my life and personality types and different patterns of behavior developed over the years I\’ve come to the realization that I\’m extremely empathetic and very extroverted while also being very observant of people\’s behaviors including my own behaviors. 

 I\’m often found speaking at home like how does this person not realize what they\’re saying and doing or why does this person not pause and look at the patterns of behaviors they are recreating.  And then other times I find I\’m asking myself why is someone who gave me solid advice doing the same thing they would tell me not to do and their life. 

A lot of these curiosity questions came to me during times when I saw a psychic medium named Josh.  I\’ve been to two of his events and a spirit who came through one of his events to me I believe was my Grampa Eastman and he is the reason I finally published my book of poems. 

Had I not gone to that event in Gorham, New Hampshire on that fine evening with my friend Rene and heard the words from my Grampa Eastman through the medium Josh I\’m not sure I would have been in such a rush to get Love Wanted out there on the shelves for you all to purchase.

The reason being, I have had a Post-it note on my desk for months. I have swapped out one desk for another desk at least once, if not twice now, and there sat the post-it note telling me to type my book of poems up from my poetry journals.

I just didn\’t make it a priority until after that day at the Gifts From Spirit event in Gorham, NH. I decided that if my Grampa from the other side wants me to get that done, there must be a reason, and so I listened …

Soooo, I published my book of poems under Brandy Ellen Digital LLC as the publisher, but during the process, I realized how much shadow work I still had to do.

I found myself reading my poems and getting into the emotions of the girl that I was when I wrote some of these poems.  There were times I felt deep sadness, and my heart was aching for the younger version of me who felt depressed and not valued enough. 

Then there were the times when I felt such happiness in a smile that came across my face as a tear shed down my cheeks because this woman, this young woman (younger me), felt so much love and devotion at other times. 

 So you see, learning how to express yourself in a way that makes sense is a fabulous way to work through some of your dark shadows, but what happens when you start expressing yourself on the internet and in online platforms where people can comment, ridicule, and shame you for sharing such truths? 

 It\’s so easy to get caught up in our emotions while surfing the internet.

Someone shares something that questions our belief system, and the inner two-year-old comes out to play on the defense. Okay, so maybe the inner teenager – either way – similar personality types.

We cuss, we attack, we lash out in anger, disgust, or sadness from feeling as though this stranger on the internet is literally trying to harm us.

All because they dared express a raw, authentic truth of theirs with you. Perhaps it was an experience that they were drawn to share, maybe it is an opinion, or perhaps it\’s their life\’s purpose to share these thoughts, and here you come, all offended, ready to attack.

I get that some things are deeply personal, and we are all guilty of lashing out. It\’s totally easy to just lash out at someone without thinking when we sit here with a keyboard in our face on the internet.

What I\’d like to invite you to do more often than not, though, is that the next time you feel that way is to count to five. Pause. Count …

1 …. 2 …. 3 … 4 …. 5 ….

And then ask yourself if this person was someone you truly love deeply, such as a child or close relative, or best friend, would you speak this way to them?

If yes, well, you\’ve got some healing work to do, maybe hire a life coach or therapist who can dig deep into that inner child wound.

If not, well, then welcome to the world of personal development. You just became aware of your self in a deeper way. You can now repsond to this person with curisiosuity rather than atack.

Sure, maybe you still feel the opposite of what they say is true, or what they shared upsets you – that\’s OK. We are human\’s with experiences that cause us to feel emotions … but what is not going to help anything is lashing out in anger or attacking comments.

It may make you feel better now, but you are merely just making another human recoil back into their isolated space to feel even more alone, and then they will have to work up the courage to speak up again (or worse, they won\’t ever speak up again) … that\’s not acceptable.

We must remember that separatism, which we\’ve been taught, is all wrong. The labels we give ourselves and others only increase separatism, which breeds these dense emotions. Try, please try, to comment from a space of two-year-old curiosity rather than anger and watch as you start to feel more connected, even if you feel differently about something.

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