We live in a digitally driven world, so much of our time is spent scrolling a feed of social media highlights. This is exactly what those reels and images are … highlights of the part of a person\’s life that they wish to show you.
This became so evident to me as I started to reflect upon a past experience, or maybe more than one past experience, if I am being honest. I started to notice that the photographs were smiley, that the fun was had, and that it appeared that I was \”happy\”, and yes, I probably was in those moments.
Those highlight reels are the highest moments of the day, and if not the highest moments of the day, they are close to it. Oh my gosh! I had this memory come back where we were driving, and I had no idea where we were going.
I remember a day when someone took me to a castle. This moment was long hidden in my memory banks, and I\’m so grateful that moment came back to me today. I can picture it so clearly… the feelings, the surprise, the happiness. The joy in my heart.
I remember, I THINK I had my eyes closed at one point, but I do recall being led into the driveway walking, and then told to LOOK. It was a castle! This person took time to plan this trip for us, and it was to be a magical experience for a gal (me) who lives in this dream world of happiness and joy.
Back then, I was mostly happy, and these moments made me happier. They were highlight reels, though. We all have them.
Life is not 100% happy moments, nor is it 100% sad or angry moments. Life is a bit of everything mixed in, and I knew this, but what I didn\’t realize is that when you have kids, and they have needs but then you are dating someone with needs who is not their father, and doesn\’t have kids of their own (or does) it gets, for lack of a better word, messy.
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I had to put my kids before my needs, or so that\’s what I was trying to do and in that process, I was overwhelmed, tired, and torn. Two egos fighting with each other for the need to be right or to have their voices heard. Neither handling it appropriately, both slinking into old habits that had prevoiusly maybe made them feel better.
It is mostly a blur now, as I know the emotions I felt before, during, and after, but I do not FEEL them to my core as I once did. These are just glimpses. I shared glimpses into this world that was chaotic, messy, and if not for my priority of being a Mama and other moments that shattered the joy, it was quite honestly a very magical time in my life.
I can appreciate the moments, and still accept today. I don\’t want to go back, I want you to realize that there are moments in someone\’s life that look so magical and beautifully happy that we can get lost in that moment, thinking that we are missing something because we feel less than valuable or worthy in our own lives.
I cannot relate to that fear of missing out (FOMO) feeling, but I comprehend it on a logical level. What I do know is that right now my soul is being leaned into a new space, a space where I am certain I must be, and yet my almost 19 and almost 17 year old along with their Dad are being tugged into a different direction. One that, quite honestly, doesn\’t intuitively feel aligned for me.
I have to ask, how can this be, how can a MOM to a child who is not yet 18 but an \”adult\” by most standards, such as already graduated, and doing his independent thing most days, want something and be led towards something that would cause a separation from her normal?
Perhaps God creates a path that looks much different than I can imagine, for God has a bigger imagination than I have – that\’s for sure.
And when I say God, I mean this energy source … I am more a spiritual being – a spirit having a human experience … you may use the term that suits you best when trying to relate to this story.
I do not have the answers, but I know God is waiting for me to trust this nudge and reminds me that this will be more beautiful than I ever imagined. Perhaps it will be similar to that feeling I had that day when I turned the corner and tears came to my eyes as I saw a REAL LIFE CASTLE and then go to tour it.
Anyways, I guess what I am saying is that it is easy to get lost in another person\’s life, or the story they have for, but did you ask them if that\’s the story they want for you? Have you really paused to see if these people you are giving so much of your true self up for want this for you?
And what if they do want something specific for you? Even so, what God has aligned for your highest good is the best path to trust.
I bet they may be upset if your path doesn\’t align with theirs, but they will still love you and they will still be a part of you, with or without your physical human body presence in their life regularly.
Trust the nudges. God does not nudge us for no reason, there is a plan, there is a purpose. Please try to detach from that digital world, and sit with a tree to learn what your true heart & mind connected nudges are.
So, the next time you see a glimpse of another person\’s highlight reel, remember that you also have your own highlight reels … and they should matter more to you than someone else\’s highlight reels.