Leave Brandy Ellen a Monetary Tip

Fewer Ego Boosts Make a Life Peaceful

I am not in the business of saying one lifestyle is better than another lifestyle. In my years of experience, I’ve been put down in my place enough to know that I don’t have permission to judge any way of life or another human being for that matter.

I’m just focused on doing what it seems I’m called to do and trusting that guidance from Source as I continue to navigate the life of a woman, mother, wife, sister, friend, daughter, and whatever else someone labels me as in this life.

I am here to learn.

I am here to observe.

I am here to play.

And perhaps I am here to teach.

I don’t teach in the traditional sense, I’ll leave that up to the real teachers who know what they’re doing – Montessori schools, public schools, and all of the other types of school options out there- kudos to you amazing teachers doing your job well!

I’m a teacher of life-based experiences.

You see, through living my imperfect life and going through challenges in this world with each new season of being a human being, I learn more and share more.

Through my challenges I bring published books, ghostwriting skills to help you get your story out there, and other such skillsets that help me bring some light on subjects that perhaps you’re not experienced with … yet.

And boy have I had some experiences in my 40+ years of life. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and about other human beings. I no longer look at a human and think, “oh my gosh they hurt me. How dare they do/did what they did to me.”

Rather, I think, “Thank you Source for placing this human in my life and allowing me to perhaps spread some joy in their life. Thank you for allowing me to learn a bit more about my reactivity in areas I need to work on, and maybe just maybe thank you Source for allowing me to help that human’s pain child heal a bit more.”

I know that when I see a human respond now, including myself, I tend to feel compassion or empathy towards them. This is not to say I give them permission to treat me awful, rather, I acknowledge that we all have pains and traumas that are big or small, that impact us differently, and for that?

We should lend some grace and take those moments less personally.

I know. I know.

But they make you so angry.

I get it!

I do.

I am far from being fully “healed” in my ways, although I am more peaceful than ever before.

And this is why I continue to share my daily life, my thoughts, and my writings with you all. I want each human to realize that you may never ever feel fully at peace at all times of your day, week, or month.

However, you can make a conscious choice to change out habits for new ones that make you feel more enlightened, happier, and content on those harder days.

Now, I think the journey to get here was more about releasing those thoughts that people have told me throughout the years.

I used to get so mad (and hurt) from those who called me names growing up, who should have showed up differently, or so that’s how I felt in my teen and early adult years.

I went through phases of not wanting anything to do with either of my parents at various times in my earlier years. It’s crazy to think back at how mad I was with two humans who were merely doing their best.

As time went on, I started to see the patterns of human behaviors, and the imperfections of myself. How I’ve hurt people that didn’t deserve it. How I’ve hurt people who I love dearly. I, also, am a work in progress.

When I started realizing this; the entire world looked different to me. Slowly I started to shed the ego a bit more, don’t get me wrong, the ego is always there. I believe that’s that part of me that helps me thrive to achieve goals and build my writing business to the level I want it, or to show up stronger during times when others are weaker.

I know the ego part of me does have it’s time and place, but I am practicing on learning what the ego’s time and place is, and keeping it in those moments. It has been so much fun observing other humans, and then turning inward to see how I may be similar to them.

It’s funny, isn’t it?

You watch all of the “evil people” out there, and you think, ‘I would never ever do that to someone” and yet someone out there was hurt by something you said that perhaps you don’t even remember saying or they were hurt by something you do remember doing or saying and yet … here you are saying you wouldn’t do *that* level of “evil” though.

Evil is evil. I mean, it still hurts another person.

So …. there’s that thought for you to evaluate. 😉

I know that there are true evils in this world, I know that we all have a light and dark side that comes out to play. I’ve even gone so far as to say that perhaps the foods and drinks we consume cause either side of us to play a bit more.

Some of the habits that I’ve changed over the last five years have helped me to come to a calmer space.

A space where I tend to observe more than react.

A space where I meditate more than talk.

A space where I am both the life experiences teacher and the learner.

Before I pause my writing of thoughts today, I want to share a few new habits I’ve adjusted since 2019 that have transformed my mind to a calmer state of being over five years. May thee paragraphs below help you find a new habit to transform this year.

Don’t forget to grab my recent book where you can dive deeper into my process of changing habits for the better.

  • When I feel pain inside from what someone is doing or saying or texting; I pause and observe that building up of an emotion inside. It’s my pain child trying to come out to react. It’s a previous trauma from the person or another person in my past that wants me to realize it’s still broken. I recall the words of Mel Robbins, “let them theory”, and I breathe slowly repeating, “let them be who they are. You don’t have to fall into that trap of heightened emotions any longer.”
  • When I feel cranky and have no real reason to feel said way; I pause and look at the calendar. In my 40s, the hormones have been playing a lot with my emotions. So I am learning more about the women’s brain during my 30s, 40s, and beyond to help adjust my lifestyle to reflect the stage I am in. I ask if I am during the “time of the month” portion or this month or did I eat something weird like pizza? Did I have too much coffee with caffeine the day prior to today? I observe. I note. I accept.
  • Food adjustments that took five years and transformed my entire mind & body: this is an area that helped me become more peaceful without much effort. I found that when I quit smoking I gained a bit of weight, so I started walking every day. This converted over to adjusting what I eat, as I watched my middle child start to count calories using Cronometer and teach me more about nutrition and fitness. I even did a Whole30 for 30 days recently (that was super fun). but typically I eat real foods. I try to eat minimally processed foods whenever possible and refrain from having too much added sodium or sugar. I don’t do “salt-free” or “sugar-free” but I just keep an eye on it. I make note of which foods cause me to feel sleepy or grumpy, so that I don’t eat them.
  • Make a conscious effort to spend time in nature: I’ve always loved nature, however, I am not a fan of winter in New Hampshire. I may find some winter hobbies to do soon but for now, winter is my non-active season, so when spring, fall, and summer hit? I am outside as often as possible. I even work from my laptop writing for clients outside if I can. I make sure to spend a lot of time outside listening to the birds, hiking, playing with my dogs, talking to the chickens, or whatever. This helps balance me, and it’s even better when barefoot. Learn more about grounding here.

Anything worth having will take time, discipline, and focus. Try not to set a stopwatch on your progress. Simply take it one habit and one moment at a time, and be grateful for the tiny steps you take each day towards a more peaceful ego-less lifestyle.


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