In the first week of the new year, we kick off our resolutions by promising ourselves that this is going to be the best year yet. It can be easy to make promises to improve yourself, but keeping true to them when life gets in the way can prove difficult.
That’s why I’m bringing you some tips, tricks, and advice to help you rebuild yourself after dealing with bad relationships, toxic friendships, and family dramas. While this may not be YOUR reason for not sticking to those promises to yourself, they are my reasons, and quite often they are someone else’s reasons, too.
Change is hard but it doesn’t have to be impossible; if you feel like your life has been turned upside-down by a bad breakup or a nasty conflict with another person in your life, this guide will show you how to keep your head up and start rebuilding yourself.
I’m going to focus on three main areas of your life that may be affected after being in a toxic situation: self-esteem, friendships/relationships, and success.
Self-Esteem
Let’s start with the basis of your foundation: self-esteem. After a bad breakup, a nasty fight with your family, or any conflict that has you reeling in pain and anguish, the hardest thing to do is lift yourself back up. It can be difficult after being hurt by someone else to even get out of bed in the morning.
When I was going through my worst relationship ever, it felt impossible sometimes just to brush my teeth, let alone pick myself back up. When he was removed from our rental property, I felt a little relief but then went back into feeling lost, completely lost, and depleted.
I know it’s hard but you have to get past your feelings and focus on making yourself happier again. Here are some tips for rebuilding self-esteem after a bad situation.
Do little things for yourself. Like I said, it’s hard to do anything sometimes but you have to start somewhere.
If you can’t bring yourself to get out of bed or take a shower yet because you don’t want to face the world, that’s okay. Start small. Brush your teeth, go for a walk around the block, get dressed.
These little things will help you start feeling better about yourself and give you more motivation to do something productive during your day-to-day life.
Avoid Negativity
Avoid comparisons or putting down others that are still in a relationship/have friends. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others and it’s easy to get lost in feeling sorry for yourself, but don’t do this. It will only make you feel more negative and cause you to be stuck in this pit of despair you’re already in.
Use positive affirmations! I’m a huge fan of the book The Secret and have even used it to help me get through some of the most difficult times in my life. I have this affirmation board that I put up every morning during a rough time and it reminds me to think positively about myself and my life.
Make sure your environment is a positive one, too. Reread those affirmations you have posted around your home or office and you’ll start feeling better.
Focus on Your Friendships/Relationships
After going through a hard time in your life, it’s easy to want to wallow and keep all of that negativity around. This is okay for the first week or two but eventually, you need to find a way out of this darkness. As I said before, avoid the temptation to compare yourself to others or putting down other people because you’re feeling sad.
One of the best steps you can take for your relationships after going through a difficult time is to devote more time to them than usual. Whether it’s calling up that friend you haven’t talked to in months or asking if they want to get together for coffee, make the effort to build that relationship back up.
You’ll feel better about yourself and you never know when a little help from your friends will go a long way. Seriously! This is super important!!
My friend, Heidi, was there for me nearly immediately afterward and even during the court process when I was recovering from an unhealthy relationship. I’m forever grateful for her help during my picking myself back up chapter!
Set New Goals in Your Life
It’s one thing to reconnect with old friends or strengthen relationships but what you should do is set new goals.
I know, I know, you feel terrible about yourself and don’t think that you can accomplish much of anything but trust me when I say it’ll help you. Setting new goals will give your life a purpose again and allow you to start thinking positively about the future instead of drowning in the past.
There is no set timeline for how long it will take to rebuild your life after a bad situation but there are steps you can take every day that will help.
I’ve gone through the same or similar thing as you so I know how hard it is but don’t let yourself get stuck in this pit of despair. Every single person has their own light and it’s up to you to find yours again.
Just remember, you are a strong and beautiful person and it’s okay to go through difficult times. Just focus on rebuilding yourself and you’ll find yourself right where you want to be – back in the light.
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