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It all Begins with Habits

Sometimes you have to start with habit changes before you can work through mindset shifts. That’s what I learned most about myself. I may have naturally been wired to be this optimistic person, and I’ve learned that I may be something people call an empath.

I don’t know for sure.

All I do know is that I have big emotions.

I feel very passionately and strongly about human beings.

I feel especially so towards those who play a key role in my life, but I’ve noticed I can get into tears just watching an ambulance drive by with their lights on having a stranger inside.

I just have a big feelings.

The problem I seem to with these feelings is that I can often be clouded with them to the point that it’s hard to work on a mindset shift. I’m still in the process of my spiritual growth, and always will be, so right now I had to find something that could work for myself.

That’s when I realized that the key to a mindset shift …. truly transforming that thought or feeling in a moment….

Is more about habits.

It is easier to do a mindset shift when you’re practicing different lifestyle habits that set you up closer to being stable and connected with Source.

If you’re interested in learning more about how this subject, please by all means, continue scrolling down in this blog post.

I am excited to share my thoughts on this subject with you today here at Ah, Joy! Moments are Magic.

Over the years I have been in relationships, and I’ve even been married & divorced to the same person I am currently experiencing life with. I have three kids (older kids). I have dogs, and I even lost my first adult pet dog that lived to age 13 … back in 2019, I believe it was. Jenny was an amazing dog, and I miss her dearly.

I have had success.

I have had losses.

Most of these successes or losses came from choices and habits that were a part of my belief system and routine behavior developed from a young age and beyond after new experiences were had.

What can I say, sometimes I like to learn things the hard way.

Well, I always enjoy the journey of learning things “in my unique way”. 😜

I expect life to have twists and turns, for I cannot control the external environment in which I live, work, or play. I know that other human beings have hurt, have love, have experiences, and are much like me; just trying to figure out this thing called living on Earth.

It is what it is.

I know things I can control and I know the things I cannot control.

It’s been a tough road getting here. There were easier days. There were harder days. There are mediocre days.

And guess what?

I cherish every single one of them!

You see, if not for the bumps on the road to today would I not be who I am today? Would I be in a different spot? Perhaps.

I am grateful to be me because I am the only person who can be me.

Ok okay. Let me move along to the point here …

Now, why do I say you must start with habits???

The reason I say that you must start with habits to shift a mindset is because it’s an easier route than trying to explain how your brain works when I am not a brain scientist. 😁 I understand most of how we can change our brain, and grow different parts of it.

I also understand a lot of the latest scientific findings on how we can regrow parts of our something or other. You can read the article from Joe Dispenza here to learn more Telomeres: The Biological Clock in Our Genetics.

It is truly amazing how we can change so much from just adjusting our habits and mindset patterns to creating a new frequency of energy.

Amazing.

However, I have come to realize that not every human being is as obsessed with these findings as I am.

I will be at one of Joe Dispenza’s events in the future. I must. I will. I affirm it. I really desire to attend one in person.

I can feel people’s eyes glaze over though, when I try to explain how they can transform their life one thought at a time. That’s why I chose to stick with what I am good at; changing habits!

I also have found that other humans are obsessed with changing habits, so I don’t get the “eyes glazed over” response most times when I discuss habit changes and my habit changing book. 🤣 Mind you, most humans are obsessed with habit changes and goals come “the New Year” on the calendar, but the reality is you can change any time of the year!

I wrote an entire book trying to lay out this method of habit changes I have used (and continue to use) as a means to change my lifestyle, mindset, and environmental conditions. Now, the environmental part only changes when my frequency gets aligned properly, and that is something that I feel Source absolutely helps with.

Having a bit of Faith in something larger than yourself will help with the habit changes, although, that isn’t a requirement. 😉

How to Start with Habit Changes?

Now you’re probably wondering how to start with habit changes, right? Well, the best way to start with habit changes is to use some of my tips from page 15 in my book; Habits = Life.

  1. Identification of Auto-Pilot Habits:
    1. What are the first things you do after waking up? Have you noticed any patterns?
    1. Can you identify any activities you do automatically when you feel stressed, anxious, or happy?
    1. Are there specific times of day when you find yourself engaging in mindless activities? What are these activities?
  2. Context and Triggers:
    1. What external events or internal feelings trigger your auto-pilot habits?
    1. Do certain environments or people trigger automatic behaviors more than others? Describe them.
    1. How do your energy levels throughout the day influence your automatic behaviors?
  3. Emotions and Needs:
    1. How do you feel before, during, and after engaging in an auto-pilot habit?
    1. Do you think your auto-pilot habits are fulfilling a particular need or emotion? What might that be?
    1. Reflect on a recent day—were there moments you acted automatically because of how you felt? What were those moments?
  4. Reflection and Awareness:
    1. Were there any auto-pilot habits that surprised you once you became aware of them? Why?
    1. How do your auto-pilot habits align with your values and goals in life?
    1. In what ways have your auto-pilot habits changed over time, and what influenced these changes?
  5. Mindfulness and Presence:
    1. During a typical day, how often do you find yourself fully present in the moment versus operating on auto-pilot?
    1. Can you recall a moment when being on auto-pilot caused you to miss out on something important?
    1. What strategies can you use to become more mindful and present, especially during routine activities?

As you work through each of the above questions, you will need to sit alone with some light music in the background, such as this nature sounds clip as you truly dive deep into your soul and learn more about the auto-pilot habits that you have.

We all have auto-pilot habits.

I still have plenty of them to work through.

The key here is to just use this exercise to acknowledge some of the habits, do not think about fixing them or changing them.

Just let the answers flow.

I help you work through which habits you can focus on and choose the right small habit to start with inside of my paperback book, but I thought these questions from my book Habits = Life would be a fabulous sneak peek from my book that’s useful for you today.

I hope that you can find some time to work through these questions. Just copy and paste the words into a Word Document or Google Document. Or, I do have lined pages within my book, Habits = Life that you can use to work through this process.

After Observing Auto-Pilot Habits

After you’re done observing your auto-pilot habits, it will be time to pick one small habit to change, or a new habit to introduce into your life.

Here are some of the small habit changes that I have had in my life over the last five years. I hope that sharing the small habit changes I have done will get your brain to realize which habits that you noted in the above exercise should be adjusted towards a new habit, such as:

  • Diet changes – I opted to do the Whole30 after realizing that I was still having too much sugar in my diet.
  • Alcohol changes – I rarely have alcohol anymore, and have some rules around when I will allow myself to have even a small amount of it.
  • No longer Engage – if there’s a conversation going on about a subject or person that I am not comfortable having with that person trying to discuss it. I no longer engage in that conversation.

These are just three things that have helped me transform who I show up as, and how my mindset shifts can happen easier. I will be honest with you; I’ve found what I eat is the BIGGEST habit change that every human should consider working on.

I rarely eat out, and if I do? I can pay for it big time with sadness, or tiredness the next day if I don’t choose a meal that’s less processed. Pizza, for example, does this to me if I don’t make it myself. I get sleepy, I have bowel issues, and I just feel cranky the next day.

If I focus on eating closer to natural foods like seeds, fruits, vegetables, and grass-fed meats from local farmers whenever possible, my mind is easier to shift when it starts to slink off the pace, but more importantly, when I eat this way? I hardly have issues with mindset hiccups other than the moments when I’ve worked a bit more than I should and get sleepy.

Everyone gets a little cranky when sleepy, I think! 😅

I do hope that something I shared here today inspires you to keep working at life to find a way to overcome those habits that are holding your human self back from connecting with something greater in this life.

Now, if you’re not ready, that is okay! Not everyone is ready at the same time. I love for you who you are, and I know that you’re doing the best you can do today in this moment. I give you a high five for that, and please tomorrow or the next month, consider using my ideas just for a little bit.


If you want to hire me as a coach to help you through the process, we can chat. Just use the contact form a the bottom of my About page here. I will ask some questions and we can go from there.


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