Listen, we all have this ego version of ourselves that wants to have things his way. The push to force something that you want rather than let the flow occur naturally. I was writing yesterday on some things, so this is a continuation on those thoughts. If you want to read those two blog posts, here they are:
We are all guilty of having moments where we just want to rush something. Think about your youth; you probably couldn\’t wait to be an adult so you could make your own rules?! I am not sure if I felt that way, as I don\’t know what I felt deeply.
I\’d have my journals still, but after the trust was abused with such things from the parental unit to exes, I tore up all private thoughts that ever entered into a journal. I realized long ago that you cannot document feelings, and then if you trust to document it again, someone will peek and betray that trust; especially if you hang with disrespectful folks.
Which was I being around those types of people. That was me. Raises hand; I hung with those types of folks. It seems the psychopath and narcissistic sort of profiles were attracted to my \”innocent\” looking behavior when in reality – I was far from it, so they would often be surprised when they got to know me more. Then they\’d get insecure and have to read those private thoughts in my various journals over the years, so it is gone. No more private journals. (for now) 🙈
I get it. I understand it. But it is what caused me to continue to burn down thoughts in journals rather than keep them to review in my 40s. Awww, how different I would feel about those journals now that I am in my 40s. I wish I had that blessing to review sometimes.
I work with what I have now, and go with the facts that I know I wasn\’t the same back then as I am today. I wasn\’t the same in my 20s or 30s or 40s … I imagine I also won\’t be the same in my 50s either … I\’m excited to watch the challenges, mindset changes, and growth that occur year after year with human beings, myself included.
One thing I\’ve grown better at is trusting that what\’s meant to be, will be. This means not allowing my ego to try to rush things or create space for stalking or whatever it is that people do to try to \”force God\’s will,\” so to speak.
I no longer try to rush things. 🙏
My North Star to so speak these days is: I remind myself that I believe what\’s meant to be will happen … if we just live our life naturally as we are guided to do.
I\’ve learned to have the patience, mostly because I don\’t drink alcohol much ever, to allow God to have His plan unfold as I give Him my trust. It\’s not always easy … but I trust in this process.
The universe always provides just what\’s needed for a new lesson, a new growth spurt, or whatever – The Universe always has it under control.
I think back to times when choices made left me in this unwanted situation, harmed my children\’s spirits, or whatever else occurred, and I realized that, more often than not, those situations were either by me rushing into something or allowing someone else to rush into my life.
Anything to do with a HUMAN rushing into things, such as a person pushing themself into your life because you don\’t have the access or strength to demand the respect that you deserve or set the boundary you know is necessary, is what leads to a horribly difficult path in life.
I\’ve done it so many times and in so many different (yet similar) ways. 🙈
I finally sat in a hospital room and had a lecture (long chat) about making different choices, or else I was going to keep getting this stroke-level blood pressure and my body screaming at me because I was stressed. I will keep having emotional trauma if I don\’t figure the heck out how to set boundaries and know my worth.
That day I set forth in a new season of life, I became homeless for a summer and I have continued to walk a path that makes sense even if others see it as nonsense. I do it in love, I do it in kind, and I always do it because it betters my family and Self. I do it because I trust and listen to God\’s will.
No, I am not preaching religion to you, my friends; I am sharing the same belief system I\’ve always had – believing in our intuitive nature, that natural instinct to listen to your gut. It\’ just that now, I refer to that nature as God, some refer to that nature as Mother Nature also known as Gaia or Father Earth, or the Universe, or Buddha. I could go on and on, but that\’s the only point you need to know – it\’s the spirit guide that you trust to nudge you forward on a path that\’s right and good for your present and future.
It won\’t be easy. It will be hard, in fact it\’s going to suck at first. In fact, if you\’re a childlike adult like me, it may involve feet stomping on the ground with arms crossed because trusting God\’s plan isn\’t always what we \”want\” at that moment.
Sometimes we want something else, but if we choose that and rush to that side of something else, We will miss out on all of the beautiful synchronicities that show up as a blessing for following the path you\’re supposed to go down.
I know we have free will, and choices made deter us from that destined path we agreed to go down, but if you find your way back onto that path? Life starts to become much easier because you are full of love, light, and TRUST in all things again, just like when you were born into this world.
That\’s all I have today. I promise to keep writing whatever my healing hands flow from mind to mouth to fingers …. sometimes I am drawn to speak on stories via Instagram or Facebook, so be sure to follow me over there. Other times, I am finally being drawn here to write, and boy, do I have some good, awesome things in store for 2025 for you all with writing on here, workshops, and maybe even some get-togethers.
Exciting times, my friends. It is, indeed, an exciting time for us all!
Blessings to you.