Never did I realize the struggles in life until my only priorities changed.  No more did what bill to pay next become a priority, instead, I need to make sure my kids have a warm place to sleep, food to eat, and a spot to continue their education. Those became the weekly, sometimes daily, priorities in life. You see, being homeless will teach you about the real struggles in life and how life is so unpredictable. 

I am confident that there isn’t one portion of my life where I can say “that went as planned”, and I am confident many of you have the same feeling. Life is messy, it’s challenging and it’s completely unpredictable. You can do everything in your power to try to ensure that life goes as you desire, but there will always be obstacles, surprises, and mishaps that occur every step of the way.  This can deplete you as a person, it can make you feel as if everything you have prepared for, set up to protect against happening, and worked so hard for isn’t worth it because there will always be that possibility of the element of surprise.

Years ago a situation happened that I thought hardened me forever. I felt that was the worst thing in the world and I’d never find Faith or Hope in humankind again. I honestly believed my heart was hardened, and I’d forever be distant from those once close to me, including my children. Anyone who knows me as a mother will know that was a hard feeling to have, but I felt it one-hundred percent.

Emotional Mess of Life

Well, you can live life getting upset, frustrated, tossing your hands in the air only to give up on all that mattered to you or you can rise above it. Accept things for what they are, work to alleviate the anxiety that plagues so many of us, and find a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Okay, so seeing the light at the end of the tunnel may not work, that’s too far ahead for you at this very moment.

Perhaps try thinking about who are you, all that you have overcome, and where you are standing right now in this very moment.

Perhaps look at the life you lead from a different angle, perception can make a huge difference for each of us.

Sure there are incidents that have happened in my life that left me balling my eyes out in the shower daily or curled up in a fetal position crying myself to sleep. This happens to the best of us, we are all human beings with emotional attachments or detachments.

Regardless of what life tosses at you, remember that everything truly does happen for a reason and you must work to move through the current obstacle. It may not be an easy path, and the fight may be more difficult than you’ve ever imagined, but in the end?

When you accomplished letting go of the anger, fear, frustration that is happening in your life, a natural state of calmness will arise and you will see that you were strong enough and that this situation occurred to allow you to see things from a different perspective.

In time, during the hardships of being homeless, I still found a way to regrow my Faith and Hope in humankind again. I started hugging my children more, smiling and boy that first time I laughed again? Felt amazing!

Let’s face it, I’m not alone with the struggles in life.

We are all going through our own struggles, perhaps you’re not homeless but you’re single and kind of getting sick of that loneliness.

Perhaps you’re co-parenting for the first time and miss your kids dearly.

Maybe the local grocery store ran out of your favorite ice cream! 

It doesn’t really matter what your struggle is …

we all have struggles in life.

That doesn’t make my struggles in life more weight-bearing than yours or your struggles more than mine. It just means we are all struggling in some way, and those of us who remain focused on being positive just don’t show those struggles as much to the outside world.

Of Course, It’s Hard! Life is Unpredictable!

Listen, I know it’s hard. I know you’re looking for solutions, help, and advice. Just be sure you’re asking people who’ve been through a similar experience. Anyone who hasn’t been in a similar experience; homeless, abused, co-parenting, parenting, etc., etc. will lend you advice based on nothing. If they have never lived it, it’s going to be difficult for them to lend decent advice.

Think about the time before you were a parent. You thought you knew it all, and then those kids happened, and boy! Did you ever change your ways? No? Well then you’re one of the few, I tell you I changed after the 2nd and then 3rd child. More open-minded, carefree, and honestly not as much of a stickler like I was when the firstborn was a little.

No One Promised an Easy Life

If only it were this easy to think about every scenario in our lives, I admit it isn’t easy, but then again I personally wasn’t promised an easy life. I am the daughter of teen parents who most certainly wasn’t anticipating parenthood, I completely understand that life doesn’t happen in ways we envisioned and sometimes others pay for our emotions of anger, frustration, and confusion.

One thing that I try my hardest to do is to redirect my pattern of thoughts, you have to learn to ask yourself if your current emotional state is stemming from past scenarios triggering a current response. If you answered yes, then you need to do whatever it takes to work through those demons. Take all of the time you need to ensure you feel whole within, your loved ones should respect and understand that you need to do this in order to be better for both yourself and them.

No Past Demons in Life?

If perhaps, you are the rare few who don’t have emotional triggers based upon past scenarios, then you have to approach this differently. You have already worked through your demons and come to a place of resolve from your past misfortunes, but you continue to have challenging times.

It seems life is just full of tests and obstacles that drain you completely. You are human, this is okay, but you can rise above these circumstances, these obstacles are but mere images based upon your perception of reality. The reason each of us can handle bad times differently is that we are all blessed with a different perception.

You Can Rise Up

The key to rising up from the struggles in life is to remain strong and only seek advice from someone who’s been in a similar boat before. Those who truly have had an unpredictable life and went at it in a similar way as you. I’ve found, based on my experiences, that those who’ve experienced homelessness with kids, who’s had such hardships without someone paying their way for a solution, only those people who’ve lived it always lend the best advice.

Today, I invite you to take a moment and breath, jot down some notes about a hardship you are going through, a scenario that is happening that wasn’t planned and find a way to completely accept it, move on from it, and just live your life the best you can give the current circumstances.

Lean on friends, lean on those closest and dearest to you, after all that’s what those people are here for.

Do whatever it takes to work your mind back into the mindset that life is messy, things don’t always go as planned but how you move forward from this very moment will make or break the rest of your life.

Good luck my friends, I wish you much resolve, success, and happiness in life, yes even during the messy portions of existence.