Looking for Love in all the Outside Spaces

Hello my friends it is Brandy Ellen back with another day of sharing information. Gosh, I am working through so many different layers of my life the way I\’m wired and what I need in my life that it is truly taking my whole system back a little bit.

Once again I please ask for some grace with grammatical errors because the message is more important than my ability to craft capital letters periods and exclamation points as well as commas where they belong.

I was guided to share this message today because somebody out there needed to read it either today tomorrow next year or next month I have no idea but I know that person does not care where my capitals my periods or my exclamation points are.

I most recently have started to travel back into the shadow work side of how I was actually addicted to SEX this is not something that I\’m going to get into on this blog post at all because I believe it\’s something we should work through in privacy but I will say that I can see how someone would become hypersexualized in this world.

As I continue to journey through the different layers of my life as a child and adult through the experiences that were ups and downs I\’ve come to a realization point that I used to use this physical connection as a lie to tell myself they loved me. Of course, I didn\’t know I was lying to myself at the time but that is the story that was told to me by myself at the time.

Now that I\’m older and I\’ve gotten a lot of time without drinking that much alcohol and I\’ve even abstained from this type of activity for a handful of years now I can honestly say that I know why I drank a lot of alcohol that was my coping mechanism for something that was not right for my inner being.

It\’s interesting the things we do to protect ourselves without realizing it in various stages of our life for instance right now I\’m sure in a few years even maybe 10 or 20 years I will recognize some patterns of behavior I have today that I was doing to protect my self from various elements of healing myself because I wasn\’t quite ready for that yet and my soul guides knew that.

here we go …

I recently went through some of the letters that were from my great-grandmother during a time of my adolescence and then my early adult years and I had this epiphany of Oh my goodness she knew she knew I was looking for love in all the wrong places.

While she was the most loving of beings who loved me even when I was crazy like this, she was never afraid to share her wisdom with me. She is the inspiration behind my upcoming book \’Through Her Eyes\’.

I hope that you will subscribe to my blog here and my YouTube channel as well as any other social media outlet of mine because I am going to be publishing a brand new book that is going to help you work through your inner child and other pains through the eyes of my lived experiences and pain points of life.

Today I was simply reminded to share that you were not alone in your addictions and the places where you seek love but I can tell you if you\’re seeking love in spaces outside of you that you will forever be let down.

I don\’t aggressively mean this or that you\’ll always be abused rather I know that another human being that is broken and healing and working on their journey may not meet up to the expectations you\’ve placed on the human side of their personality.

You may work through the pains and healing process of shadow work and inner child work with your partner of course there are certain souls out there that balance you such as a yin Yang symbol the black and the white pattern entangled with each other to balance the world that you live in.

I truly believe that we all have a matching soul that may be your best friend a sibling a parent or perhaps a romantic partner that allows us to travel this yin Yang balance in life at some level. I do not believe that that person has to be a romantic partner though while some people do believe it has to be that.

I will let you believe what you wish to believe about this topic because I know I\’m not 100% correct in all of my belief patterns or visions but I do know that my visions of belief patterns come to me for a reason to share with the world because somebody out there needs to hear this.

Lack Does Not Mean …. This isn\’t Right

Today\’s message is quite simple we will always find broken pieces within our life and we may find a lack within a relationship for it is near impossible to get it right the first time within a romantic relationship especially.

Rather than focusing on the lack AKA the part that\’s missing within your romantic relationship, I want you to be open to the concept that having this lack does not mean that the relationship is not right.

While I\’m open to the concept that it may be an incorrect relationship for you I don\’t want you to jump to that conclusion immediately is all.

I want you to 1st consider what this lack is perhaps it\’s something that is missing within you perhaps it\’s something you can find within a community activity or a friendship group. If what is lacking within your intimate relationship with a partner who you vowed to be until death do you part is to be found within the community activity, volunteerism, or friendship group then perhaps it has little to do with the relationship and just more to do with what you need as an extension in your tribe of people around you.

I want you to next consider if this lack is something that you indeed need within a romantic relationship. This would be things that you typically wouldn\’t do with friends and you surely wouldn\’t do in a community activity group or another setting rather it\’s something that you truly desire to have as a connection with your romantic partner as a means to remain committed to the death do us part commitment. If this is true, then perhaps your mostly healthy romantic relationship isn\’t the right one for you, or you\’ve outgrown each other.

Please continue reading either way …

I want you now to consider if your desires and needs that you feel are lacking are coming from the healthy side of you or perhaps a wounded side of you. Here is the hard part my friends because it is not going to be easy. We are not always so self-aware that we know for sure. Even I who do a lot of personal development work and am a life coach for people find that sometimes I\’m not fully aware of where these desires or needs are coming from.

In all honesty, I don\’t always know if they\’re from the wounded side of me which is why I use tools like prayer & meditation practices, tarot cards, journaling, and talking with my divine friends to sort things out.

If you are uncertain where this lack of feeling is coming from then I invite you to do some deep work to try to comprehend where this lack is coming from and where you could possibly find fulfillment to complete that so-called voided space in your life.

The biggest thing I can tell you is to not make any rash decisions right now that have a permanent outcome because sometimes our lack of feeling is something we need to sit with a journal through and work on so that we allow the surrender of our human choices and allow something more spiritual to guide us forward.

I firmly believe the space of lack can often be fulfilled with other areas but if like me and you\’ve done a lot of work yet you still feel like this lack means that this relationship served its purpose and you have now outgrown the connection, then you can trust that the universe will guide you on that path.

You don\’t need to get in a big fight or cause a big ruckus because God has this way of making a path right. This surrender allows the process to occur in a calm fashion that leaves everybody feeling a bit healthier and a bit more healed. Human-led choices tend to be more rocky and disastrous to the plenty.

We will always have something that\’s missing or something that we want to have more of the nudges will be stronger or not so strong depending upon how important they are to us on our journey. One thing I\’ve learned for sure since 2018 is that the proper path seems to just open up to you and it goes very smoothly if you surrender and trust the process.

I will remind you that the concept of surrendering and trusting the process does not mean sitting and doing nothing. You need to continue to show up and live in your everyday life being present in the moments and being grateful for the moments is in this concept that you truly start to surrender to trust the process and God rewards you with the right path opening up to help you level up to the next place that you\’re meant to go in this life.