Being a mom with anxiety means that you have to be careful about what you’re doing how much you take on and what you’re feeling. One of the skills I worked with during therapy sessions after all the trauma the last few years was to start acknowledging how I’m feeling.
After being told that my “emotions” were “crazy” and that I was simply “insane” and “out of control” multiple times, I started pushing how I felt down. I started believing those words and started watching YouTube videos to be different. To be someone I wasn’t. To stop feeling all the feels and listening to my gut. I simply taught my self to be less “emotional”.
Being Emotional Isn’t Crazy
Before I go any further, let me tell you that you’re not crazy. Do not ever, ever, ever let someone tell you that listening to your gut instincts or expressing how you feel makes you crazy. I will admit that during times of high hormone fluctuations such as pregnancy, your menstrual cycle, perimenopause, and menopause you will feel crazy and perhaps be a bit more emotional, but you’re still NOT ACTUALLY CRAZY.
Women tend to think more emotionally, while we do have the skills to be logical, it’s as if we’re simply wired to know how we feel about something. If we don’t know how we fill in the immediate moment, our instincts will kick in and give us a little stomach ache, or that pit in the stomach feeling. Emotions are good. Instincts are good. Anyone who says you’re crazy for listening to your gut is not good!
Survival Tips for the Work at Home Anxious Mom
Now that I got that out of the way, I wanted to share a few survival tips for the work at home anxious mom. You see, I was recently homeless for about five months. Legit, without a home. Sleeping in a tent, in a car, and hotels are not having a home but I’m thankful we always had some form of shelter to survive the bedtime hours with a preteen and teenager. With that being said, I have anxiety. I was born with it. I will have it forever. It’s simply a part of the real me.
Having anxiety means that I have to be more aware of how I feel, what I’m taking on for work, and other responsibilities as a means to keep my emotions and sanity in check. I’ve developed my own set of survival skills to ensure my anxiety never consumes me to the point of exhaustion again. Here are some of my survival tips for the work at home anxious mom …
Listen to Your Feelings
Yes, you over there! The one who feels crazy because of all those feelings or perhaps was like me and told she’s insane for having said feelings. Stop listening to the outside world and truly feel those feelings. Let yourself become more aware of your facial expressions, habits, and body responses during times of intense feelings.
Acknowledge the Feeling
Once you start to realize what your body does when feeling an intense emotion, it’s time to acknowledge the feeling. Put a name to what you’re feeling. Is this a gut instinct triggering you to do something different? Is this an anxious feeling because you’re overthinking? Are you sad? Are you angry? Name the feeling, so that you can work with this information.
Write a List
Sometimes I can listen to my feelings and acknowledge the feeling but I’m lost as to what to do from that point. Remember, I had to go to therapy to relearn how to let myself have emotions again. This is where I started using the list-making idea. Write a listen down for reasons you think that you’re having the feeling. Jot down whatever comes to mind.
Evaluate Your List
Now that you have an instant list of ideas that you think may be the culprit for your feelings, it’s time to evaluate this list. Cross off any idea that truly seems unreasonable. Be realistic and logical about which items you jotted down simply don’t make sense for the true feeling you acknowledged to have.
Find a Solution
Now that you have a list of reasonable ideas as to why you’re feeling how you’re feeling, its’ time to find a solution. Perhaps you realize that you’ve undervalued yourself or took on more than you can realistically handle. Perhaps you’re feeling this way due to circumstances in your life or relationship. Whatever the reason is for how you feel, work out a way to resolve this situation so you can feel better.
How to Come up with Solutions to Feel Better
It’s really hard for me to speak in general terms when it comes to trying to use this survival tip for the work at home anxious mom, but I’m going to give it a try.
I’ve worked hard to get back to a solution-driven person. A work at home mom who focuses on solutions as opposed to feeling crazy for being the person I am. The best way to come up with solutions to feel better is to focus on one item at a time.
Take one thing off your list and focus on resolving that one. I personally like to check off more realistic items first. Something that you can pay off quickly or complete quicker than others is usually a good place to start. This will give you a goal to work towards. once that first goal is completed, you’ll have started stepping forward in coming up with solutions to feel better.
Continue these steps every time you feel overwhelmed, anxious, sad, or any other intense emotion that interferes with your daily life. You can even use these tips to catch up on work for clients, know your worth, and resolve any current household issues.
I know these tips are vague and quite simple, but that’s how I roll. I much prefer trying to pause my whole world and remember that I’m always doing the best that I can. Lastly, don’t forget to take a break. Let’s face it, the issue will still be there in a couple of hours, so please make sure you walk away to do something to take care fo yourself before you end up in the ER like I did before I paused to get into therapy and find out how I could be a less anxious, more real me person again!