Category: Relationships

Relationships are hard! Everything about life can be hard, to be honest. This is Brandy Ellen’s spot to share various relationship experiences, mishaps, and outcomes of a variety of relationship struggles people go through.

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I Hear What You Don’t Say

Sometimes I forget my power to hear what others don’t say, that is until I’m faced with a situation that continuously eats at me. Be it some power above, a higher consciousness, or just my natural abilities, I find that I hear what you don’t say.

I am observant of human nature. I take the time to observe a person and figure out their energy, their patterns, what their habits are, and perhaps what they’re capable of. I can learn this in a brief time with a person, simply by hearing what their energy aka their aura is putting off and what their body is doing during a conversation.

More so, I watch the eyes. I listen to the tone. I watch for defensive signs, which typically means someone is either nervous because they’re lying or uncomfortable because of the topic of conversation. There are many reasons why one may put off the signs of being uncomfortable.

Beyond all of that; I can tell if someone is truly happy or joyous in their life choice.

And when I see that someone doesn’t seem happy or joyous in their life choice; I watch them sink into a deeper state of sadness or depression; I wonder why they’re keeping stuck here?

They may share excuses such as, “well because things will change in the future” or “yeah I may not be super happy or joyous now, but when things change, I think I will be or we will be” or “life or relationships aren’t always happy or content, there will be down moments and this is just a down moment.”

I Agree. Sometimes these unhappy or less than joyous times are … temporary.

However, I don’t live in a place where I use those excuses to sugarcoat a situation that truly doesn’t work. Since I prefer to live in this way, I try to get others to see that they don’t have to live in a world where they must tell themselves excuses to make it through every single day.

Sure, sometimes (and in some situations) we do need to suck it up and be responsible, but there is a way to be responsible and still live your truth!

Some days I sit down and go into my thoughts. Deep in the mind and start thinking about things like, “why was it easier to tell this person that the relationship/friendship wasn’t working for me and I needed some space” yet it’s not as easy to do with other people?

Why do I feel more comfortable speaking and living my truth around certain people and not others? It’s an intersting observation about myself and I’m truly curious …

I am going to continue working through this in my mind so that I can push through and get back on track to living my truth as I have always tried to do. I have made a commitment to not run, but rather take the time to deal with the unpredictable moments in life, the emotions, and other things that arrive so that when I make a choice that the choice is truly one that means I’m heading on the correct path that aligns with my truth.

This doesn’t come easy for everyone, and as you can see, it’s not always easy for me either. So, this is what I have to say to you as a means to help you get to a more peaceful place in your life:

Life is Chaotic

Life is a challenge and life is chaotic. You see, I’ve often shared my thoughts about unpredictable life and how things can come along to teach us a lesson or make us pause/stop in our tracks to determine if we’re truly living our truth.

You see, I believe in living our truth at all times. No, this doesn’t mean everything goes as I feel it should. No. life does what it wants. You have to learn lessons before you’ll receive everything you desire and deserve. I do, however, believe in living a life that intuitively feels right for you.

You’ll Feel the Calm

How do you tell when you’re living your truth? I’m not sure how you will feel, but how I feel is “calm” and perhaps a bit of “confidence”. For example, when I’m living on a path that’s aligned with my truth I feel calmer. I am relaxed, even during those chaotic difficult times in life. I am confident about the choices I make.

I feel as if I am floating the rough life in a good way, even when difficult circumstances arise. Even when someone is telling me I’m crazy for believing in my truth and what’s right for me. Even when someone is looking at me like I’m insane for believing that we all have a purpose and must stay true to that regardless of anything else around us.

It’s this sense of true inner peace, and OMG it feels AWESOME!

I miss that feeling.

What Does Living in My Truth Mean?

I just realized that perhaps some of you aren’t sure what “my truth” or “your truth” means. I believe that “my truth” or “your truth” is living in a way that brings joy every day. No, not happiness! The joy that I feel is what I call the “peace” feeling noted above.

Living your truth means taking the time to practice meditation or exercise, something that puts your mind into a calm place every day so that you can clearly see what you’re purpose is in life. This purpose could be to work. This purpose could be to donate your time. This purpose could be to help animals or people. You’ll know it when it comes because you will just feel this complete sense of peace and happiness.

It will just feel “RIGHT”.

How do I Be Confident Living my Truth?

I can’t really tell you how to be confident living your truth, because to this day I struggle with this thing called confidence in living my purpose. You see, I believe you don’t have to ask how to be confident in living your truth after a few months of just doing things that bring you joy, happiness, and being authentic to your true self.

With that being said, confidence is tested often. That’s part of living life as a human with technology and other humans. If you’re not surrounded by people who believe in you, even if they don’t understand fully, then having the confidence to live your truth will be easier.

I say, use positive affirmations and inspirational speeches by people who resonate with you to ensure that you keep your mind straight. You’re going to need to feel yourself with new ideas, concepts, and positive goal setting concepts so that you stay true to your authentic self.

What Authentic Self is Not …

One thing that I’ve learned over the last few years is that living your authentic self or being your authentic self doesn’t mean oversharing on social media. I know it feels awesome to share some of your favorite or difficult moments online but you must try to refrain from oversharing online. There will be people that are happy to see you struggling and their thoughts can sabotage your confidence or goals.

There will be people who leave comments or emotional responses to your positive or trying content online. This is why I say only share the journey of your authentic self or living your truth as I like to call it when you find yourself at an unbreakable moment.

I mean to only share your journey once you’re on the other side, because more often than not; oversharing the process when you feel weakest will deter your success on this journey to live your truth.

I’m still a work in progress and believe I will forever be a work in progress because no human in the world is perfect. We are all capable of and should learn something new every day. Even the little new skills or mindset changes that occur every day will help you continue to have more confidence in living a life that suits your truth!

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How Will You Know That Walking Away is Best?

Relationships go through multiple stages before they reach a point that they can stamp as “forever”. We often find ourselves lurking in dubious thoughts where we keep pondering if we are in the right place. People who get over these thoughts because the majority of the things look optimistic add another year to their relationship.

However, there can be points that don’t indicate a healthy relationship. If you recognize those signs and yet stick to the relationship in the hope of things getting better, you’re living in a fallacy. You must be fully aware of when walking away from everyone, and everything is the best. Here are some major signs that can make the indication easier.

No emotional connection

Emotional intimacy is way more important than physical intimacy. It’s the deep connection that you share mentally and spiritually. However, suppose you’re dealing with a relationship where you are unable to break through the surface no matter how critical the hardship is or how huge the celebration is. In that case, you’re probably dealing with a looped relationship.

One should always be able to open up to their partner, express to them fully, and share their darkest insecurities with them comfortably. If you don’t hold a bond knitted tight enough to be able to do that, you won’t be able to hold on to each other for very long as well. If your partner isn’t emotionally connected to you the way you are to them, it is a clear indication to walk away.

Gut feeling

We are all intuitive to some extent. You always know in your gut if something doesn’t fit right, but we choose to ignore it most of the time. We are probably not ready to accept the fact that the relationship we hold so dear isn’t working anymore. You might seem perfect from the outside, but the cracks on the inside keep shattering your foundation brick by brick.

You always know if something is tense, stressed, or forced. If this is happening with your spouse, it’s better to take marriage counseling or sit down together to clear up the vulnerabilities. However, if you are dating, then you have no reason to carry a relationship that keeps showing red flags now and then. If your gut tells you that walking away from everyone and everything is the best solution to achieve happiness, then you must resort to that.

Disrespect

Respect is one of the essential factors that prevent the fabric of your relationship from corroding. Being able to respect your partner’s opinions, likes, dislikes, and themselves in general counts as a significant factor in strengthening your relationship. If your bond lacks that essence, then you have a major reason to walk away. If you feel like none of your opinions matter to them or if you’re often humiliated because of your point of view, then you are stuck in a debilitating relationship.

A place where you are not valued enough isn’t worth it. Respect is always a two-way street; you give it and take it. Losing it means you are unable to give them a substantial stance in your life, and if that doesn’t happen, there’s hardly a chance of your relationship lasting long. Waiting for that to happen will only hurt more, so it’s better to drift apart with dignity.

Abuse

Abuse is intolerable irrespective of the relationship you share. Whether you are a spouse, a partner, or a friend, abuse must never be endured. Most of the time, we assume that abuse is always physical, and that’s the only way a relationship can be damaged. But we are unaware and oblivious to the emotional abuse that sustains in most relationships. It doesn’t only affect your relationship but harms the person’s mental health and scars a person’s personality for a lifetime.

Even if you’re suffering from verbal abuse, you must not stand for it in any case. Whether you’re dating or married, it does not give the other person the privilege to abuse you in any way. Someone who abuses you isn’t worth your time or effort in any way. So instead of giving your self-esteem a beating, decide on walking away from everyone and everything relating to the person.

Can’t be yourself

The only way a relationship can see a future is if you have ease and comfort within your bond. If you feel so restricted within a relationship that you are unable to be yourself with them, then it isn’t something to waste your time over. You don’t feel comfortable with the person because you fear that you won’t be accepted. This usually happens when your partner is accustomed to objecting to everything you do, points out flaws in all your actions, and dwells on them for a long time to make you feel bad.

When you’re unable to be yourself with them, you cage your personality and feel the air of unease around you all the time. Being conscious of what you say or do continuously because you fear anything can lead to a fight indicates an unhealthy relationship. At this point, it’s always better to walk away from everyone and everything.

Distrust

If you are in a relationship where your spouse is continuously in touch with their ex, cheated on you in the past, or lies to you frequently, your foundation lacks trust. If you are unable to trust your partner explicitly, then there is no point in being with them. If you find your partner texting and calling you over and over again when you are out or probing all the details of your outing because they don’t trust you enough, then you are dwelling on a relationship that doesn’t have much to offer. A bond that lacks trust is guaranteed to lack perpetuity as well.

Jealousy

Jealousy is another unhealthy facet of a cracked relationship that signifies walking away from everyone and everything. If you are engaged in a relationship or friendship where you can identify clear jealousy, you must keep them at arm’s length. These people will be jealous of your success and happiness and would either try to put it down by bringing up their stories of success in an exaggerated manner or ruin yours in any other way possible. In this case, walking away is the ideal solution.

A relationship that is filled with unhealthy prospects shouldn’t be carried on. Instead of harming and hurting yourself consecutively, stop giving them a chance and walk away as soon as you can. Your happiness should be your priority, and someone who cannot give you that should be put aside immediately.

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5 Key Documents You Must Have To Apply For A UK Spouse Visa

Are you looking forward to moving to the UK with your partner?

It is an exciting place, and it would be even more interesting with your partner by your side. If you want to move with your spouse, it is vital to understand a few important things related to the Visa process. Don’t worry! We have all the basic information for your assistance.

In the abstract, we have mentioned a list of the key documents required for the Visa application. We have also mentioned a few key points that an applicant must always keep in mind while applying for a Visa.

Key Points To Remember –

  • Documents are the critical part of any Visa application, especially for the UK.
  • To get the best UK visa advice in USA, it is highly recommended to invest in an experienced Solicitor.
  • With a professional’s help, your chances of getting accepted increase.
  • It is an extensive process. Thus it is best to stay patient during the journey.

Let’s look at the list of the documents that must be included in their UK Spouse Visa Application!

List of Documents:

If you want to get your application to get accepted on the first attempt, it is important to fulfill all the application requirements. It is a critical process; thus applicants must submit relevant papers that support the requirements of the procedure.

  • Valid passport

Both the applicants must have genuine passports of the country they reside in.l

  • Marriage proof

For married couples, a genuine marriage certificate must be included with other documents.

For unmarried yet engaged couples, they must provide evidence that they have made all the necessary marriage arrangements in the UK and will get married soon.

  • Evidence that meets the financial requirements of the process

The documents must include the source of income of the applicant, which must fulfill the minimum income requirement of the country. In other cases, one needs to provide payslips, bank statements, or employment contracts.

  • A relevant proof that the applicant meets the English language requirement

The applicants must include a copy of their English language test certificate or any relevant degree certificate with other documents.

  • Paperwork of appropriate accommodation in the UK

The accommodation documents depend on whether the accommodation is owned or rented. Applicants must provide a copy of ownership documents or relevant tenancy agreements.

  •  Rights to live in the country you are applying for the Visa from.

The applicant is also required to include a document that proves their nationality. This document is quite important to ensure that you are a legal resident of the country. 

  • Tuberculosis test certificate, if asked for.

Not every applicant has to undergo TB screening. This certificate is only important for the people from a few selected countries. It is crucial to take the test at a Home Office approved clinic. For more information, it is wise to connect to an immigration office.

Summing Up –

Hopefully, this abstract has helped in understanding basic things linked to the UK Spouse Visa Application. In case you have any queries consult the best professional in your area to avoid any mistakes.

 

 

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6 Best Dating Apps to Try Now (Hint: SecretBenefits is no. 1)

In the digital age, making connections and finding the relationship you’re looking for has never been easier. Surprisingly, many people have even found their partners on online dating apps.

But with so many dating apps, you might not know where to start.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the six best dating apps to try right now. Whether you’re looking for a spouse or just a casual fling, there’s bound to be someone out there for you.

1. SecretBenefits

The SecretBenefits app is extremely exclusive. Only “Sugar Daddies” and “Sugar Babies” can join. It’s designed to match attractive women under 35 with wealthy men looking for companionship.

Women: if you’re over 18, are tired of playing games with immature men, and you’re looking for mentoring, affection, and guidance from someone with more experience, then SecretBenefits is for you. You’re free to empower yourself on this app with zero judgment.

For men: if you are looking for a mutually beneficial relationship, are financially stable, and you’re willing to be upfront about what you want, then this is the perfect app for you, too.

Extra safety features include moderator-verified profiles and a photo verification system to prevent users from uploading inappropriate photos (read more online dating safety tips here).

2. Tinder

If you’re looking for a date, friendship, a long-term relationship, or just a casual hookup, Tinder covers all the bases.

While Tinder is known as the most popular first-stop dating app by a country mile, sometimes it’s also (surprisingly) the last. A large number of people claim to have met their long-term partners and spouses on Tinder, and there are a lot of Tinder success stories to back them up.

One benefit of perusing through Tinder’s short dating profiles is that they help you make decisions quickly – but the caveat is that it may be harder to find what you’re looking for. Knowing so little about a person can make that initial message quite challenging, too.

Another downside is due to Tinder having so many users. On the one hand, there are a lot of options, but you’ll have to trawl through a sea of profiles – which makes it easy to accidentally pass over suitable people that you would have given a chance under different circumstances.

3. Coffee Meets Bagel

The creators of Coffee Meets Bagel aim to offer users matches of the highest quality. Every day at noon, you’ll be sent a list of curated matches, called “bagels.”

The app suggests ice-breakers for the first few messages, and the profiles are more detailed than Tinder. If you like getting prompts to nudge you to take the plunge, this app may be perfect for you.

On the downside, the app is not very user-friendly and it’s quite confusing to use. There are a lot of features and gimmicks to navigate, which can make the experience less enjoyable overall.

Another common complaint with Coffee Meets Bagel is that they are quite pushy when it comes to notifications.

4. Bumble

Bumble is essentially Tinder, but women have the upper hand. It’s a free dating app, but women are required to message first. If a man doesn’t reply within 24 hours, he loses the option to go on a date.

Bumble designed the timer to encourage making contact. While some people love this feature, it’s not for you if you tend to procrastinate.

Because women have to message first, the app tends to weed insecure men from the dating pool, which means the number of overly-confident men on Bumble is higher than most other dating apps.

5. OKCupid

Many people have found their ideal match on OkCupid. This app makes matches based on a lengthy series of questions that are basically personality tests. Based on your compatibility and interests, the app then provides a Match/Enemy ratio that you can see on every profile.

The profiles on OkCupid are a lot more in-depth than you’ll find on Tinder, even though both apps are owned by the same company. And, like with Tinder, you can’t message a user without matching with them first (well, you can, but they won’t see it in their inbox).

The upside to OKCupid’s messaging system is that it lowers the number of offensive and inappropriate messages and fake profiles. The downside, however, is that this app isn’t nearly as popular as its counterparts, so your choices will be limited.

6. Hinge

The Hinge dating app was designed to make user profiles more engaging. Users have the option to display a lot of personal information that might turn out to be deal-breakers.

Information like your religion, political leanings, alcohol consumption, and even your interest in having children are all on your profile – which can make finding a long-term relationship easier.

Hinge’s slogan is “designed to be deleted,” so they intend to match users who are more likely to go on to form a serious relationship.