It’s interesting, isn’t it? That the choices we’re often faced with in life are simple. If you remove the emotions, the desires, and all of the things our ego wishes us to have … the end choice in your current situation is usually a very simple one.
No matter what chaos you’re facing, no matter what you’re questioning in this season of life, all too often the choice we must make is relatively simple in concept.
The issue is that it’s rarely ever an easy choice.
This is true in all things from business to love to friendship to parenting. This is why, I’m learning, that every human should have some sort of spiritual guidance or compass that guides them whenever they’re facing difficult times.
Whenever you’re desiring something more than what you have.
Whenever you’re hoping for something different than you’ve got.
And whenever temptation pokes its ugly head into your life …
your guiding light or compass or God or Source or whatever you call it will help you make the right choice.
But, what if you were not raised on any specific religion or belief system that you can think of? Maybe you were just winging it in survival mode because your parents were working or growing up alongside you or something else?
What if …
Well okay, those what if statements make total sense when you’re younger or in early adulthood, but at some point you need to pause, grow up, and realize that now is the time to learn that only you can make a different choice.
You can never take back what others did or what you did in each given scenario of your previous life seasons. Neither can someone else come back in your “today” to make up for what happened before.
Why do I say this with 100% certainty?
Well, because some personality traits are there and really difficult to change. All too often an old partner or friend may have the best intentions to rekindle something once lost, but you two get back together and slip into the old habits or patterns.
If you both keep doing this and ultimately never pause to realize you’re doing this and make a new choice in the current season of life, then you find yourselves facing the same situation again, aka repeating history.
It’s funny because I just had this chat with my other half the other day. I said we are making similar choices even though we have different awareness and intentions. We are literally repeating our previous mistakes in new ways and thus being faced with some tough choices.
I am not going to lie, long-term commitments with another human are difficult at times. You are trying to get two people who have different personalities, habits, and desires to cohabit, raise kids, and do all the things together all of the time.
Yet, they are different people.
This is where having a life compass, a spiritual belief, or inner guidance to rely on when you’re confused. When life is just so tough that you cannot figure out if you’re making good intentions and choices. Or maybe life is just so chaotic that you’re like screw it and start making self-sabotaging choices because it’s easier than facing the reality that you gotta do some work in this season with the person you made vows with.
No matter what it is, we all face these challenges of questioning our belief system, of wondering if the grass is greener on the other side and all of those cliche sayings. I can tell you that the grass is sometimes funner on the other side, but the fun wears off, and when reality sets in, that fun of the other side of the lawn? It doesn’t feel as good as the long-term vow you made with someone who has life values that align closer to yours.
This is boring at first, but it’s so much more rewarding, and fulfilling when you know that you’re someone who made a vow, stuck with it, and continued to open your mind & heart for growth … the grass is always greener where you water it.
So try. Try and try again. Try until you realize that you’ve done all you can do and that you’re either going to work together or apart. Commit to which outcome makes sense.
Because sometimes, that vow is fantastic and you both commit to it to make each other’s life better but other times, you made the vow when you both were different people or made the vow for others, not yourselves and well, when that happens – sometimes you just have to be OK with realizing & admitting that this wasn’t the right vow and that you can be friends but you are both destined for more.