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The Dreamer in me says …

Why is it that we must define a person as good or bad? I mean, obviously, there are people in this world who make choices that clearly come from a place of feeling unloved. While the actions can be seen as bad, for they’re inflicting pain rather than love out into the world, can we not come to a middle ground and realize that we can use our healing and kind energy to pray or hope for their healing?

I mean, I won’t lose sleep over those who make choices that clearly come from a not-so-loving intention spot in their life, but can we really blame them entirely?

I mean, listen for a second …. hear me out! Please 🙂

There is a lot of hurt out there in this world today. We have grown far apart and far away from our human connection. We are all souls born of joy and light. The world around us shapes us, molds us, and tells us we need to be careful, we need to do this or do that.

The outside world can encourage or discourage certain personality traits or natural instincts we have.

As we grow old, many of us hide those instincts because we are told to ‘grow up’ or ‘be real’ or ‘there is no happily ever after’ … but I’m here to say that these are wrong. These are truths for them, not for you!

You do not have to live in that truth.

You do not have to believe that there is no such thing as dreaming up your reality. At the end of the day, there are so many new findings that are founded on REAL science, like quantum science that open the mind to ask more questions about this life and this world we live in.

To be honest, I know there’s a long way to go, but I can see that the new findings in various areas of human mind, and heart functions have shown amazing progress in ways that lend me some hope about the future of human kind.

That is, if we can learn to do things from a place of love intentions, rather than a place of manipulation or trying to get something in return.

You see, the world tells me that I cannot connect with certain humans again, like open that door – why? Well, opening that door means that they will provide more ill intentions and harm in my world. Obviously, my number one reality is to make sure the kids come first, although they are getting older now. I have a 2nd child nearing adulthood and the third final child has a couple more years of schooling and he’s an adult.

It’s so crazy! In a few years, I will have all adult children … wowza!

That’s why I must revisit where I’m being called and what I’m being called to do. The reason is that it’s not coming from a place of passion or desire, it’s something else. I am being drawn towards humans that need my light and love, I am being drawn to open my mind to the reality of connection at a deeper level.

This level doesn’t define a human based on what they have done, but more so based on what they are doing today. Friends, I have done awful things, especially in my heavier alcohol drinking days. Things I would never do to someone today, but they happened. They are part of what brought me to today … without those mistakes? I wouldn’t realize the extent of what alcohol can do to a kind hearted human.

That’s not to make excuses, it’s a self-reflection journey. We all should pay attention to what we feed ourselves (food, drink, media, TV, etc). We can learn if it makes us better, worse, or mediocre. Learn to expect more from yourself, while also learning about what helps you FEEL; like feel good, feel passion, feel ready to tackle anything that life tosses at you.

I know. I know. This may sound like woo-woo stuff (I guess that’s what some call it) and it may be all too much for some of you, but today I am asking you to take one step forward. This step can be HUGE or SMALL, it just has to be a step that helps you change your habits.

I recently heard an example of a guy who was about to become a Dad. He confessed that, at age 30+ living at home with his mom and not cleaning his room/living space, made him an awful example to be for his upcoming child. He wanted to do better and be better, but he was stuck in this depressed state of mind and had no idea where to start.

Men are weird about depression, guys! (said with love)It shows up as anger, sadness, over eating, over drinking, over sleeping, I mean the list goes on and on. Mental health is still a tricky thing as no two people often show the same symptoms outwardly.

Brandy Ellen

As the guy started talking and his therapist started asking questions, this guy’s therapist figured out the smallest step he could take to help the guy get to a new habit in his life. This process started SO SMALL, guys! Wicked small. I mean, the therapist legit said to just grab the vacuum cleaner, place it in his bedroom doorway, and that’s it.

This guy had to walk around the vacuum for 30 days. That’s it! Do not use it. DO not move it. Walk around it to get into his room for 30 days.

This was just the smallest step and seems silly, but it’s all about changing who you’ve become! We can all remember a time when we were full of love and light, OK so I guess not ALL of us can, but hopefully you can (yes, you reading this).

Why not get back to that feeling?

Why not learn to feel that way and do better today as if you’re a child dreaming of your happily ever after? You were a child of love & light before all of the external people in this world hurt you. They hit you with their hands, sticks, or a belt. They yelled at you and told you to grow up or be more like your sibling.

And other times, the hurt was more subtle. The people around you just said things that hurt you but they didn’t mean to hurt you. Sometimes our pain comes from how we perceive a situation more so than how the other person intended it to be.

Brandy Ellen

These are all hurtful things that we have heard growing up. Seriously, I just had a chat with my Mom the other day and I had to laugh. She to this day feels like my Sister (younger sibling) was easier than ME. And I am all like what?! Girl, Mom, I see where you’re coming from but wow, I so would feel I was the easier one.

Ha! I share this story from a place of love and I can’t stop laughing. Not at my Mom or at anyone, it’s interesting to see how light-hearted I’ve become about my parents since working more inward on myself. I find it fascinating to learn more about how my parents visualize their kids and the world.

Of course, I am biased, right? Or am I? Maybe I am just looking at the situation of the past through a different lens than my Mom. And that’s OK 🙂

I would much rather have an alcoholic teenager who made poor choices looking for love externally but did well in school and kept a job than have a child who struggled with so much more and ended up in the juvenile hall or whatever that’s called. But I guess, now that I am a parent of 3, and had time to evaluate the chat with my Mom, I realize where she’s coming from.

I don’t know how I would classify a child as easier or harder, I just think WE (as parents) get better at feeling like the next child, and the next child is easier to raise because we have already experienced a lot of stuff with the first or second born children …

Parenting gets easier because we have more experiences thus our hindsight says the last born was the easiest – when maybe it’s not about the child, but more about our growth as a parent.

Brandy Ellen

Just some food for thought.

Anyway… what I wanted to say is that you can give a little, you can be friends with humans who did you wrong, and you can pray and hope for love and light to enter their lives & hearts. You don’t need to make it an everyday friendship or a let’s come full time into my life scenario but what’s wrong with sending love and light to all humans …. even those who perhaps were once a little lost or depressed and ‘did you wrong’.

They may be just like you and me – searching for their place in this realm after being told for years and years that they were NOT ENOUGH.

Until next time, sending love & light to ALL!

Your friend always,

Brandy Ellen


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