As I sat there in my office chair, writing content for a Facebook group, I felt my stomach start to turn. This was not a sickness, you know that feeling when your stomach feels as if you will throw up, rather it was that of a nervous stomach.
My entire stomach started to turn with anxiety, as I noticed it, I continued to feel my chest tighten up a bit, and my breath become more shallow. My entire inner being was responding as if something was happening right here to me, yet I sat here alone writing content for a Facebook Group.
I was not in thought beyond the present moment of what to create for rules in the group, and how to word things. I had just created a newsletter signup form for the group, so that I do not lose members within the group should Facebook be unreachable.
I had Mozart music in my ears as I worked on this business online. I had no external factor nor internal thought beyond what I was trying to create – a FB page for an upcoming reading challenge event with my business.
I was not thinking of anything that could stir these feelings; all I know is that this means someone somewhere who is connected to me in spirit is doing something that is causing harm to their true spirit, which is inflicting pain points in my spirit, at the same time.
Since I am connected to many, it is difficult to know to whom this feeling refers. That said, once upon a time, I was working at a place, and this person came into the store. I connected with them in such a regular fashion, so to speak, although there was a piece of me that felt as though I knew this person before.
I did not know them. They were a stranger to me, yet I felt this magnetic connection, and even wrote about this in my previous journal pads. That said, when this person left, at another time in the place I worked, I felt weak in the knees and could not stand. I legit fell into the stool chair right there behind the counter when they left.
Later on, months later, actually, I felt this same feeling. It overcame my entire being, and in that moment, I recalled this moment of feeling weak in the knees and realized that I had predicted this moment of feeling weak in the knees.
Even later on, I had this memory of being held captive or whatnot within a room near the same room I slept in.
I know I have always had an ability to sense a future event or a current emotion of those connected to me, but I do not always know exactly who, what, or when until the situation arises.
This is why I tried to do some spiritual healing over the last 13 months plus; I wanted to trust this feeling when it comes, without allowing the words of other humans to sneak into my being and make me question my soul’s response to something that the humans cannot admit to themselves, never mind to me.
No, my friend, I am not looking for something to be wrong. My sweet friend, I am searching for the trust I once had to know when my stomach does this, that pain is on its way, and that wrongdoing is occurring. Only God knows for sure, I say, but the reality is that I KNOW, my spirit that is connected to God knows…
May you one day understand and learn to respect that others know you more than you realize. May you understand that the anger you express is more about the feeling that someone in this world may just know you better than you know yourself.
Perhaps one day you will realize that the choices made brought about this experience that you want to pretend you had no part in playing a role in. We all create our reality – you can choose loyalty, honesty, and trust on the deepest level, or try to use your energy to convince someone connected to the soul-full world that they are crazy, wrong, or looking for things to see as wrong.
As much as you have a choice, so do I.
Note to the reader: If this resonated with you, then perhaps you understand this deep connection to Source Energy. Maybe you are going through similar struggles, and long to know who, what, when, where, why, or how. Please know that not a single one of us knows for sure the answers to God’s mission with each of us. The only thing we can do is to choose to show up in TRUTH, LOVE, and INTEGRITY with every breathing moment we have in this lifetime.
