
Welcome to Thursday Thoughts: Rambles with Brandy Ellen. A new weekly ramble fest brought to you by the letter F for frazzled and the letter E for entertaining.
I remember the day that I found this rental home, I met the landlord and she was super nice. She is super nice! I viewed the home and felt that it was workable for the trio and me. I felt that it was within a similar price range as any other rental and after what I had gone through I wasn’t quite ready to rent a home in the middle of the woods, alone. I knew for my own growth and safety that I wanted to rent something that was near other humans. I am ever so grateful that this family chose us to rent to. It’s a good fit for the most part. I just struggle with paying so much for rent. Period.
Racing Thoughts Consume
With the winter season comes winter blues. The shorter days, colder nights, and lack of sunshine really curb my attitude. In addition, I had other stressors going on like whether I was going to have to relive an event from my past at a trial as a “victim” or not. I have a teenager who passed drivers ed, $600 later, and now needs to do the next steps to get a NH driver’s license, which will cost more money. I could go on and on about the costs of raising three kids on one income. Yes, I do get child support for two of my kids and that’s rather helpful, but it still doesn’t help in a way that having two adult incomes may help. At the end of every week I hand over my rent money and feel accomplished, but I have been neglecting other financial areas because I’m doing the best I can.
Finance Struggles Are Real
Let’s face it, we all face financial struggles here and there. I believe struggles are simply part of adulthood. It’s how it is. I rarely stress out about financial stuff, I’ve grown accustomed to figuring things out as they are tossed at me. I work hard every day and things usually work out for me. I used to say and believe that everything works out as it should for me. Things just have a way of working out, but I lost that thought pattern for a little while. I had been stripped of all my self-confidence, strength and independence in a relationship where my own growth was discouraged and I was often yelled at and treated crappy simply for succeeding in my own personal goals.
Personal Growth IS Good
I remember when I rebuilt my credit score to a number that would allow me to get a home loan that I was yelled at for being excited about it. At that moment, I realized that no matter what I did that this man would never, ever be happy for my own happiness. It had to be about him. That’s a really crappy way to be. For months I relived this scenario in my head, and wouldn’t allow myself to grow. I paused. I suffered both emotionally and financially. I had it drilled in my head that I wasn’t “allowed” to succeed or achieve my own goals. It took counseling and my own personal work to gain that confidence back. It took surrounding myself with some awesome, positive people who are real and want me to succeed to get it back.
Yay! I am Back on Track
Today I am finally on track. Today I finally feel better. I am achieving daily goals and feel so awesome. I am excited to see other people experience success for their goals. I cheer them on! When they’re excited and happy, I am too. That’s how friends and real life should go, we all should be happy for each other. We have some long-term goals in the Brandy Ellen Fam that will be achieved come spring time. I was getting frustrated with the long-term goal, feeling down on myself and anxious about the idea of a trial so much so that it was wiping me out again. I talked about it. I accepted that’s why I wasn’t working to my best potential or being the best friend I could possibly be. Time passed, and as the shutting of that door came closer I felt something inside of me get excited. I felt passion come back. I could feel the door beginning to close from a chapter where my trust was shattered and I finally had started to set daily work goals.
Week 2 of Earlier Days and Week 1 of Daily Goals
Today, I am in week 2 of getting up earlier to work different hours, leaving me more time to balance everything in my life. I feel better. I feel like these winter days aren’t going to consume me completely and before I know it, we’ll be in the spring season with new goals and a new chapter to enjoy. I set myself some daily financial goals this week and here we are on Thursday. So far my daily financial goal has been accomplished. Everyday. I can see the light again. I have hope again. I have love again. I have passion again. Every day I start to feel more and more alive because I’ve chosen to surround myself with real people who keep things real and real people who remind me that life is precious.
YOU GOT THIS
If you’re struggling with something in your life, it’s okay. We all struggle from time to time. We all have our down days, weeks and even months. I say that you acknowledge that feeling. Learn to accept that you feel a certain way and then figure out why you feel that way. Once you realize what it is that’s causing you to feel this way, and you open up to a counselor or a good friend, you’ll find that it releases you from that negative emotion and allows you to live, love and have passion again. Take one giant baby step forward today. Know that we all are suffering from something, but we don’t have to suffer alone. Ever.
Cheers to fabulous friends, the blogging life, and the ability to be who we are without judgment!

I am glad you are doing better! So happy to hear that!I have a teen and know how expensive they can be! Every week is something different!
I think personal growth should always be a priority so you can be a good person next to you or for the entire family and society.
I hope that spring will bring to all of us more energy and new goals. I can’t wait for March… 🙂
I can totally relate to so much of this. It sounds like you are on the right path!
Struggling is ok but getting to the part of being ok with the struggle can be a process. Achieving goals is such a great feeling of accomplishment! Thanks for sharing this with us.
I’m glad to hear that you are back on track! Financial troubles happen to everyone but you definitely deserve people in your life who will celebrate with you when you are past them.
I am so glad you are back on track you deserve all the good things! I needed to read this a bit myself as well right now as money is well.. money!
I can’t imagine being aisle Mom to three kids, much less ones that are driving! Get it girl!!!
Sounds like you’ve had a bit of a ride lately. I’m glad to hear you’re back on track!
My hat goes off to you. Being a single mother of three and of course getting by on a budget. You’re doing a great job!
This post is so uplifting. I really enjoyed reading it. Glad to see that you’re back on track.
You got this girl! I can’t imagine how hard it is for a single mother of 3! I know you will do great because you always find a way! Keep it up!
Doesn’t it feel good to be back on track with your goals? When I’m meeting mine, my entire outlook on life changes for the better.
It’s great to have goals and I always believe in one step at a time. I have to have goals in my life to make it run smooth
I am glad you are doing better! Yes, kids are so dang expensive. I feel like I shell out money for a different activity each week.
Bless your heart!! Don’t let people drag you down. People who cut others down have issues about themselves, not you. You are smart, hardworking, and have good intentions. Surround yourself with positive people and let the negative people in your life go. You will succeed!
Life is really a journey. It’s great to have goals and I always believe in one step at a time.
It’s so good to see that you’re back on track with your hopes and dreams. We do all struggle, some more than others, and this post is uplifting. I know lots of people will be more motivated after reading this.