You wake up from a long night of dreaming; your back hurts, but your heart is feeling something.
You cannot recall these dreams, but you know they existed.
What was I dreaming about?
What about those dreams that had me snoring so loudly that my teenager heard me in the kitchen when he got up to use the bathroom?
What was I dreaming or doing in my sleep that caused my body to fall completely asleep deeper than normal?
What are the things my spirit is doing to help me with this journey to discover my highest self’s purpose and commitment to God while I am in this body?
I am confident that this deep sleep and lack of remembering my dreams are putting me into a space that is forcing me to meditate more, reach out to my ancestors more, and try to find some sort of answers from my spiritual world guides before moving forward in this life.
I keep getting words of patience, letting go, and reaching out to the ancestors of my past generations.
But I pause myself.
I don\’t do it.
I am fearful.
I am not fearful to hear what they have to say, or perhaps yes, it is afraid of what they have to say because, in my entire being, I know that what I’ve chosen to do* may not be where I am destined to stay forever.
*meaning the parts of my human world that I chose to do that were not God-led (may not be where I am meant to be… Where I live now, the location was God-led, all other factors were human choices more or less.
I fear the human side of judgment, that I “did it again” or that I ‘chose wrong again’ or whatever. Of course, the biggest thing is that I don’t want to make another person feel sad or lonely or whatever they feel.
Then, I have to remind myself that I also want others to trust their guides. I would absolutely tell someone else that they are not purposefully trying to harm another person and that they must follow what their guide tells them to do, as long as it is truly with good intentions and comes from God as a source of direction based on their commitment before they walked into this life.
Perhaps this is what a soul connection is, and I am just now in my 40s learning what this means. It is not about another person but rather whomever my spirit is dancing within my dreams, allowing me to reconnect and make plans for myself while my human mind rests. Then… I wake up and forget.
I am often left with a song, though—a song.
I can sing this song all day long, and last night, my friends, last night? I was left with this song in my head. Here’s the video clip with lyrics… very interesting.
The song I remember each morning is different. I forgot the others, but I plan to write them down when I wake up since this seems to be a recurring thing – not recalling the dream but only left with a song that stays in my mind all day long.
That said, I won’t spend too much time trying to make a human reason for whatever this song means. I will continue forward and, later today, meditate on this song to reach out to my guides to see if they give me anything.
You know, the other day, I spent THREE HOURS in a trance (best word to describe it) of journaling and reading my tarot and oracle cards. The thoughts just kept flowing. That is how this blog post flowed out.
Did you know this article is being written as my power hand (Reiki term) is full of energy and feeling empowered to do something?
It’s true. I could feel my tingly third eye activating, and then my left hand went full of energy, and I had this “thought” that I was going to get a message. Now, it took probably less than 5 minutes to come to me, but it came.
My messaging seems to take time to get through … but five minutes in the grand scheme of our beautiful life is nothing to wait for that message to come. So here I am writing this, and having written it all out, I can now fix the typos and publish it online so that perhaps someone who is meant to see it can see it, or maybe I am just meant to have it as my online journal entry for today to look back upon.
Whatever it is, I know this to be true. I hope that sharing my journey to trust my Guides again (instincts) is valuable to others who are also struggling with this sense of urgency that they need to hear their spiritual guides but feel disconnected. You are not disconnected. You are blocked, and that’s why I have my Reiki attunement this month—so that I can have my training to get fully cleared and centered to start helping others.
I want to help as many of you out there feel centered, balanced, and grounded again so that you can trust your guides and do so unapologetically (not meanly, just truly wholeheartedly).
This is how I handle the chat in my home about following my guides:
I am not doing this to harm anyone, and I know I have blockage right now, but once it is cleared up and I give my complete trust to God and my guides around me, I know that the path may not make sense to those humans around me. I cannot spend my life explaining my choices, for it seems to make the light dim more, and I am grateful that I am in a life where I can make these choices and trust them without explaining.
Everything I do from here forward and beyond is going to be done in light with good intentions for not only myself but for the good of the whole, and I cling to Source because, at the end of the day, I know that whilst some choices may look like history repeating for me or backward motions, I know that I am doing it from a space of love and light set forth by my higher self to achieve what I am here to achieve and in that … I know that when I make that move and trust into the light from God, I am leaving space for others around me to do the same.
And that, my friends and loved ones is why I am excited to say that I feel more connected to Source again as if I am a young child who just realized she has magical powers again and is healed enough to trust and be guided again …
That’s the key, be honest. Be open. And always explain that you’re doing things based on love and light for the better of all of us. We are all connected. In love and light, I leave you here with this message that I hope means something to you. I know I will read it back and perhaps have new light come to me from my Guides …. This message just flowed out of my hands, and now the power hand is done writing.
Love you.
I do have to add from my human analysis side …. after reading this over perhaps the crying release yesterday as I watched this film, remembering a time when I had this type of connection that I fought against … and still sort of fight against … that perhaps something in this film reminded me of my Self in human form getting in the way of soul-full connection? It\’s hard to swallow that, but it comes to mind – anyway. I haven\’t cried much lately, so when I do release that energy, I think that something \”missing\” or \”blocking\” is slowly being released.
God lead me forward appropriately, please. Amen.