Last week when we had to put our sweet doggy down to rest due to old age, it was hard. Most of the week was spent consoling my children, mainly my 10-year-old son. It was a hard week emotionally and financially. I had no idea how much an emergency situation could set your budget back. As a work from home mom, who is a single adult household with a high-ish rent payment, well trying to stay on budget is important. This is why I’m extremely careful about how I spend money and what I say yes to.
After saying goodbye to our dog, things really haven’t felt right. I still walk into the home thinking that that sweet Jenny the pug will be there to greet me. While she wasn’t the type of dog to get up and greet me all excitedly, she was 13 after all, she did look up and almost smile at me when I returned home from going downtown. As a mom, I know that my mom life has to come before most anything else in life. As a mom who works from home, this is a tough juggle. Up until last week, I was finally getting this juggling scenario under control and then losing our sweet doggy just sucked. That’s the only word to define it. It sucked. That dog was my fur child and my kids’ furry sibling. It was a hard week and my youngest is still moping around about this loss.
Work at Home Adventures: The Motherhood Juggle
I have given more hugs in the last week than I did in the last month. My 10-year-old son is missing his “best friend” deeply and while many have said to get another dog, we are just not ready for that step. While we can have pets in our rental duplex, it’s really not something I am emotionally and financially ready to commit to. I also feel like we should grieve first before distracting each other from the grieving process. With that being said, part of my idea for the grieving process is to get away. Get out of this house that we all live, eat, breathe, sleep, work and school in. Yes, my trio and I are home 24/7. Between work from home and homeschooling, we deserve to get away and try to get away from the grief that follows us right here in this house. Every time we return and Jenny the pug isn’t here. Every time we go to sleep and can’t say goodnight to her. Every time we wake up and can’t say good morning. These are all memories that really stink and as a Mom? It’s harder to watch my youngest struggle with those memories.
Yes, I am trying to redirect and help him focus on happy memories, but he isn’t taking those tips just yet. I know he hears me, and I hope in time and with some getaways together in New England, that we can work as a family to overcome the sadness.
How to Handle the Work at Home Mother Juggle
Take a Deep Breath
I have this wonderful skill of overthinking. Yes, it’s true. Late at night when the world is quiet, my mind goes into overdrive. I have to literally breathe slowly to get myself to pause this out of control thinking process. The overthinking happens even more so when I’m trying to financially recoup from the loss of our dog, for me, I have to make sure that my kids have shelter, food and those needs a parent has to supply their kid. The loss of our dog was indeed a financial hit, she had to be put to sleep and we had her cremated. It costs money. This is why I take a lot of deep breaths. I will be in the middle of overdrive where my mind is overthinking about EVERYthing and I have to just stop. I start breathing in slowly and out slowly until finally, I’m not thinking about anything except the rhythm of my breathing.
Does it Matter?
It’s easy to start getting overwhelmed about financial and emotional situations. I mean, not having weekly rent for the first time was honestly a stressor for me. I know that there’s a grace period for a reason. I know that no human being is perfect with their bills every time, but I am extremely hard on myself and feel like a failure when I cannot pay something on time. I hate that feeling. I get overwhelmed. I start overthinking, I do the deep breathing, and then I ask myself if this really matters. Sure the paying a bill late sucks, no one wants to have to deal with that, but it happens to the best of us. Paying something late isn’t going to matter in the long haul of life. It sucks. I beat myself up about it, and then I stopped and realize that I’m never late and that this is an exception to the rule which means it will be okay. This one late payment isn’t going to matter in a month, in a year or even five years from today. Perspective. That helps with the juggle. {By the way, I did pay that week rent and on track to pay this week just fine as usual, so breathing and perspective can help.}
Be Present
I used to be so much better at being present for my kids, but with Jenny the dog’s passing, and some other personal things that occurred, I started really slacking in the whole being present idea. My son would have to tell me to put my phone down every few seconds while trying to show me something on Minecraft. I would constantly be told I’m on my phone too much. Why? Because I’m trying to work and be there for my kids. The thing is, I wasn’t really giving my 100% to work at home nor my kids by trying to do both at once. This is what reminded me that I needed to focus on being present for those brief moments with my kids during our homeschool and work day. Sometimes all it takes is just 10 minutes throughout your day here and there to really pay attention to your kid to increase their happiness. It’s all about the quality of time being present, versus the quantity of time spent.
It’s funny, I’m sharing all of these things about work at home adventures the motherhood juggle and how I have been failing. I am okay with that though. Do you know why? I’m trying to get back in touch with being my true authentic self that so many of you have come to read my writing for. No more hiding behind other topics and stories, no more just blogging to make money or to blog to say something. I am going to go all out with my feelings and part of this venture in living a more authentic lifestyle is to get out with my kids and spend the night in New England areas. They want to stay in a hotel, but I think they have no idea how beneficial a night in a cabin in the woods, near water can do for our mental health.
That’s why I’m excited to tell you that I’m working on my travel section as a focus for sharing ways to reconnect, decompress and get back in touch with your inner superstar through traveling. While I usually travel within the New England area and that’s what most people look for on my site, I may travel outside of New England from time to time or share locations for those seeking to go all over the world, but the reality is my travel section is going to start bumping soon. I cannot wait to start sharing more work at home adventures with you on a regular basis and share ways you can learn how to juggle the best of both worlds – working from home and motherhood or fatherhood if you’re a dad reading this.
